I want to make it abundantly clear that I abhor violence of any kind, most especially against women.

– Indian-American entrepreneur Gurbaksh Chahal, who’s just been kicked out as CEO and Chairman of RadiumOne for assaulting his girlfriend 117 times.

* I did not hit my girlfriend 117 times, injure her or cause any trauma. – Gurbaksh Chahal

Famous Did Nots – India & America

* I did not involve myself in match fixing. – Former Indian Cricket Captain Mohammed Azharuddin

* I did not murder the grandmother and the baby. – Telugu bidda Raghunandan Yandamuri

* I did not exploit my maid Sangeeta Richard. – Indian diplomat Devyani Khobragade

* I did not keep quiet when Muslims were being butchered in Gujarat. – Narendra Modi

* I did not mean to insult Rahul Gandhi or Dalits. – Baba Ramdev

* I did not run over the pavement dwellers and kill them while driving drunk. – Bollywood murderer Salman Khan

* I did not loot the country in the 2G scam. – Former Indian Telecom Minister A.Raja

* I did not butcher my wife and children. – Telugu bidda Lakshminivasarao Nerusu

* I did not take bribes from Bofors. – Rajiv Gandhi

* I did not choke my wife to death. – Telugu bidda Timma Kalidindi

* I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky – Bill Clinton

* I did not personally dislike Gandhi. – Gandhi’s assassin Nathuram Godse

* I did not inhale (marijuana) and never tried it again. – Bill Clinton

* I did not have sufficient warnings of 9-11 attacks. – George W.Bush

* I did not create the Sikh problem in Punjab through bad governance. – Indira Gandhi

* I did not rape my maid. – Bollywood actor Shiney Ahuja

* I did not sleep for the last 10 years, I did not ignore scams and I did not act like Sonia Gandhi’s poodle. – Manmohan Singh

* I did not dodge the draft. – George W.Bush, Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney

* I did not behave like a crook – Richard Nixon