Cherry, I don’t have time to pop your cherry
– RD (Anil Kapoor) to his dimwitted assistant Cherry (Ameesha Patel) in Race 2

Race 2 follows the odious tradition of its five-year-old predecessor Race in shoveling out manure by the truck-load.

Given our extreme dissatisfaction with Race (2008), we went in, braving the mid-Atlantic chill and snow, with much trepidation for the sequel.

Even if you haven’t seen Race, you can watch Race 2 without missing anything.

Although, if you were wise enough to miss Race, you should do likewise with the sequel.

Race 2 – Slick Meets Silly

It’s undeniable that Bollywood productions increasingly look slick these days.

The locales are attractive, the girls tempt you into jettisoning your two-decade-old marriage, the photography is eye-popping and the set-designs so lavish.

And the action scenes are getting better, thanks, no doubt, to the import of foreign technicians.

Unfortunately, the slick Bollywood boat invariably runs aground on the rough shoals of a silly story, poor acting and lackluster music.

Race 2 is no different from the usual Bollywood herd.

Directed by the Abbas-Mustan duo based on an effete script cobbled up by Shiraz Ahmed, Race 2 is one of those countless Bollywood films that drift into theaters with a bang on Friday and scamper out with a whimper the following Thursday.

At its core, Race 2 is a revenge drama pitting the bad guys against the bad guys.

Each of the bad guys (and gals) is betraying the other at the drop of a hat.

Ranveer Singh (Saif Ali Khan) is up against the street-fighter turned mega-billionaire and devilish murderer Armaan Mallik (John Abraham).

Armaan is plotting to snatch Vikram Thapar’s five casinos.

RD (Anil Kapoor) is an ex-cop turned crook playing his own devious games when he’s not fending off the double entendres of his dimwitted assistant Cherry or popping fruits into his mouth.

I don’t know about you. But I certainly don’t find the idea of someone with an obsession for grapes, oranges, mangoes, etc funny!

Endless Stupidity

People are flung out of tall buildings, shot to death in crowded night clubs, car-bombed to pieces or beaten to pulp and death with bare-hands.

Nothing wrong with any of that, except when they’re done with reckless impunity and relentless stupidity.

No, the stupidity never ends in Race 2.

Led by Ranveer, a gang of five people rob the highly guarded Shroud of Turin with the ease of walking into a McDonald’s and ordering a Big Mac.

God’s Wrath

God created John Abraham and Aditya Pancholi (he plays Godfather Azam here) with the sole intention of demonstrating his wrath and utter contempt for humanity.

Bereft of anything remotely resembling talent and a constant smirk pasted on their faces, the duo has been sailing through movie after movie for decades flexing their muscles, baring their chests and generally making an ass of themselves and monkeys of the audience.

Saif Ali Khan is, of course, endowed with better acting skills. But with a weak script and inept directors, there’s little Saif, or even the Almighty, can do to salvage this junk.

Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandes and Ameesha Kapoor vie with each other in irrelevance, the skimpiness of their costumes and the hopelessness of their acting.

Race 2’s music is a sophomoric affair with little merit.

Songs start with little concern for continuity from the previous frame.

Not Recommended

Unless you’re desperate to fork out $12 or $14 for junk, I urge you give Race 2 the pass.

Given the ending of the film, I fear that we’re in a sequel three or four years down the road.

  Deepika Padukone, Race, Saif Ali Khan