Bollywood actor Salman Khan and his family are nice people and never murder anyone.

They’re always doing good deeds and Salman Bhai even runs a charitable outfit called “Being Human.”

So sweet!

I once saw Salman bhai wearing a “Being Human” T-shirt on the Internut.

So cool, no?

Christines in Mumbai

Only Salman Khan’s family Land Cruiser cars keep playing Christine, murdering old and poor people in Mumbai and speeding away without allowing the driver to render help to the injured and dying.

Have you guys seen Christine (1983)?

A nice movie about a murderous car based on a novel by horror story writer Stephen King.

I have not seen any reports or heard rumors of Salman Khan buying the remake rights to Christine. Have you?

You all can say what you will about Salman Khan but the metaphorical Christines belonging to Salman bhai and his family are doing their best to address a crisis that we all thought was impossible to handle – India’s Population Crisis.

One poor, old person at a time, the Christines of Salman Khan and his family are dispatching to Allah’s heaven where rivers of the purest water, milk, wine and honey comfort the newly arrived from Earth.

First, it was Salman Khan’s Christine, a Land Cruiser that killed and maimed a bunch of poor people in Mumbai in 2002.

So what if Salman Khan was drunk and at the wheels.

After all, isn’t Salman bhai a Tiger?

What’s the big deal if Salman ‘Tiger ‘ Khan ran away like a mouse after killing and injuring poor people sleeping on the pavement.

Bollywood ‘Tigers’ are differently brave compared to Bengal tigers, didn’t anyone tell you that?

Who cares if the pavement dwellers wailed in agony as the wheels of Tiger’s Christine ran over their supine bodies in the dark of the night.

Truly, Allah broke the mold after creating a sweet-shaitan  like Salman Khan.

Another Person Dispatched

Fast forward 10 years.

Now it’s the turn of a Christine belonging to Arbaaz Khan, Salman’s younger brother, to repeat history.

The Christine, once again, is a Land Cruiser.

On Sunday night, Arbaaz’s Land Cruiser mowed down a 70-year-old woman in Bandra (Mumbai) and sped away without caring to help the seriously injured lady.

Passersby took the old lady Chandra Bala to hospital, where, of course, she did not get timely medical treatment and died.

Chandra Bala died?

Big deal. People die all the time in Mera Bharat Mahaan.

There’s no need to make a big fuss since she’s surely in Allah’s Heaven now drinking pure water from the eternal fountains.

Some people say Sohail’s driver Dhananjay Pimpale was at the wheels.

Hmmm!

The more things ‘change’ in Incredible India the more they remain the same.

Inshallah, Salman’s other brother Sohail Khan’s Christine will do the ‘deadly deed’ next time.

Salman bhai, please send me one “Being Human” T-shirt.

It looks really cool, bhai.

I like Being Human, even when I’m not. 😉

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  Arbaaz Khan, Christine, Salman Khan, Sohail Khan