Women in couples come in three different categories.

Happy; Knowingly unhappy; and unhappy without admitting it.

I work on that final category.

Say, how long do you think it’s gonna be before the thieving Indian bastards filch the story and screenplay of the French romcom L’arnacœur aka Heartbreaker and turn it into an unwatchable horror-show?

How long, putzheads, how long?

OK. since y’all wimps don’t have the cojones to provide us an answer, we’ll tell you. No more than four years.

By God, Delicious
We saw the trailer of Heartbreaker when we watched the French spy film Farewell.

The trailer seemed fun and we made a promise to ourselves to watch this film.

Just as Indian movies seem downright crass compared to Hollywood productions, a lot of Hollywood films come across as awfully tawdry when you pit them against French movies.

But Heartbreaker, like most foreign films, never made it to wide release and we just didn’t feel like driving 300 miles for a movie.

So when we espied Heartbreaker on Netflix Instant Play yesterday we were delighted to add it to our queue and quickly watched it.

Heartbreaker is the amusing account of a young man Alex Lippi (Romain Durris) who’s made a rather unusual career for himself, that of breaking relationships.

For a fee, of course, from interest parties like the brother or father of the girl.

No part is too far fetched to play or no action too weird for Alex to engage in as he singlemindedly pursues his female quarries.

A professional to the core in his chosen, albeit unconventional, career, he pretends to be a doctor in Marrakesh, a window-washer of high-rise buildings in a big city, a choir singer in a Black Church, a cook et al.

We get short glimpses of Alex’ various impersonations as he goes about splitting couples, all prelude to the big assignment.

This time, a millionaire florist approaches Alex to stop the imminent marriage of his daughter Juliette (Vanessa Paradis) to a British banker. After checking out the couple, Durris declines to take up the assignment because he believes Juliette and her fiance to be deeply in love.

However, severe financial woes and threats of violence for non-repayment of long overdue debts eventually compel Alex to take up the job.

But this assignment is no cakewalk, a lot different from Alex’ previous jobs. The assignment is very difficult, the marriage is less than a week away, not much research has gone into the project and the couple seem to be deeply and genuinely in love with each other.

So, does Alex chicken out when the going gets tough (as his sister accuses him of on more than one occasion)?

Au contraire, no. He becomes the girl’s bodyguard and the fun soon begins as he puts on one mighty big act.

Romain Durris, on whose shoulders the movie rests for the most part, is not one with great movie-star looks.

Never mind the lack of looks, because Durris is a torrent of talent.

Durris is a delight to watch as he maneuvers, cheats and inveigles his way into the affections of his unwary victims, who finally see the light and abandon their boyfriends.

Durris is ably assisted by Julie Ferrier and Andrew Lincoln, who play his sister and brother-in-law respectively.

Vanessa Paradis (Johnny Depp’s girlfriend) is alright as Juliette but no match for the ferocious energy Durris brings to his role.

SearchIndia.com recommends Heartbreaker. Be sure to watch it before the Bollywood criminals put out their trashy version of this entertaining romcom.

  Farewell, Heartbreaker