Folks, to merely dismiss Tees Maar Khan as yet another amateurish Bollywood piece of junk would be an egregious blunder.
For Tees Mar Khan is so much worse. Infinitely worse.
Tees Maar Khan (which released in the U.S. today) is so unbearably awful that we wouldn’t in the least be surprised if many of you were to walk out after the Sheila Ki Jawani item number, which comes in the first half-hour or so.
It boggles the mind that our Bollywood bozos would steal a four-decades-old trashy Hollywood film (After the Fox) and then deliver a trashier version of that crap in Tees Maar Khan.
Notwithstanding what the schmucks might say, Tees Maar Khan is an out and out copy of After the Fox. If you live in the U.S., you can see After the Fox on Netflix Instant Play.
Maybe, the buzz is already bad for Tees Maar Khan because for the opening 12:50PM show at a theater on the East Coast, there were just two people. 🙁
Trashier than Akshay Kumar’s Recent Films
Even by the lowly standards of Akshay Kumar’s recent films like Action Replayy, Tees Maar Khan is bad.
Tees Maar Khan follows the After the Fox story-line with a few Bollywood touches (like the songs and over the top acting) that end up making the experience unbearable for the viewer.
Akshay Kumar plays Tabriz Mirza Khan a,.k.a. Tees Maar Khan, a notorious criminal, who’s recently been arrested by the French police in Paris.
No sooner is he back in India than he does the vanishing act again and quickly signs up with two antique smugglers (the Johry brothers) to retrieve their captured cache that’s being transported to Delhi by the police in a train.
To accomplish the heist of the antiques, Tees Maar Khan pretends to be a film director and cons the people of Dhuilya village and an Oscar-obsessed Bollywood superstar Aatish Kapoor (Akshaye Khanna) into assisting him.
Sloppy Script
But the script is so sloppily written that not for one moment does it rise above the hopelessly amateurish and the disgustingly tawdry.
For a supposed comedy, there’s little that’s funny in Tees Maar Khan because of a hopeless script ‘written’ by a Bollywood cartoon named Shirish Kunder (husband of the film’s director Farah Khan).
By the way, Katrina Kaif plays an aspiring actress Anya Khan and Tees Maar Khan’s love interest in the film (in After the Fox, the heroine was the hero’s sister). Most of Katrina’s screen-time is spent in acting like a retard. Appropriate for a mediocre actress like Katrina.
The much ballyhooed Sheila Ki Jawani item number didn’t send us into a sextasy. It was slickly done but not seductive enough. Truth be said, we didn’t get much of a lift seeing Katrina Kaif’s waxed thighs and legs or to see her repeatedly spread her legs crudely, invitingly and obscenely in the song.
The Salman Khan-Akshay Kumar song-dance number was another disappointment. Neither have the faintest idea of how to do a dance.
What prompted Farah Khan, Shirish Kunder, UTV et al to filch a bad Hollywood film and then mess it up further is a mystery that’s incomprehensible to sane minds like ours.
The acting of all the three major stars in the film – Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif and Akshaye Khanna – is obscenely over the top. Surely, this must be Akshaye Khanna’s most cringe-worthy performance ever.
Guys, unless you have a desperate itch to squander your money and valuable time on garbage, stay away from Tees Maar Khan.
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Tees Maar Khan Box Office -Royally Screwed
After the Fox Review – So Bad that it’s Good for the Bollywood Thieves
Tees Maar Khan Review – Insufferable Trash added by SearchIndia.com on
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haha.. i was expecting (rather wishing hard) this kinda bashing for the thief farah khan. Btw, did you know that she is siblings to another chor sajid khan (heyy babyy fame). Even a modest portal like INDIAFM has something to tell in the context;
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/news/2010/11/09/14904/index.html
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Here’s the review of After the Fox, the source for Tees Maar Khan.
No, we were unaware that she’s the sibling of Sajid Khan.
Chutias. 🙁
By the way,Tees Maar Khan is an official remake of ‘After the Fox.’
http://tinyurl.com/3352ydc
(Rediff source.)
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. We don’t recollect seeing any acknowledgment of After the Fox in TMK unless it was buried in the small print somewhere. The story was credited to Mr.Farah Khan i.e. Shirish Kunder. 😉
2. Last month, Farah said TMK was inspired by Amar Chitra Katha comics. No kidding.
Source: http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/news/2010/11/09/14904/index.html
After the Fox is available in the Library though,I’ll watch it for Peter Sellers.I’m sure he would’ve done a good job.
And did you watch his Tour de Force ‘Being There’?
That’s perhaps the best ‘Political Satire’ ,I had seen.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: And did you watch his Tour de Force ‘Being There’?
No but we will for sure. Soon.
The Guy who wrote this Review Is the Bit Psycho And Trying to get Emotional Favor that He is Really wasted his money over The Fantastic and Superb movie which I think Every one should watch…
Believe me Friends TMK Rocks Specially those trivia (based on situational references From the movie By Akshay)that I would definitely use in Chat among My friends and family (Based on My Lives Real Situation) For sure ….I Loved it…
Farah Rocks Double than MHN & OSO and kat was Awesome, sizzling, EXTREMELY HOT,Katrina(Like Storm In Our U.S.),lustful butts, erotic physic for Each boys, I think every one Should watch it……
And not Favorite But In this Block Buster Movie He really deserve It…..Dude now I m also in ur Fans list…
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: The Guy who wrote this Review Is the Bit Psycho
Only a bit?
You sure? 😉
Ah, comments are back!
Being the Katrina fanatic that I am, much to my wife’s chagrin, I guess we will make Tees Maar Khan our debut Hindi movie in our new location – Vancouver.
PS: Would you consider changing one of your plugins? I don’t know which one it is, but it doesn’t let us use the “Home” and “End” keys while typing a comment, and doesn’t even allow clicking anywhere in the comment area if we want to insert text somewhere, making typing quite cumbersome.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. Regarding the offending plugin, we don’t know which one it is. Perhaps, the copy-protection plugin that we finally embraced after seeing our content being repeatedly lifted en bloc and reproduced without attribution.
Since we’re not facing that issue, we’ll login as a ‘subscriber’ and check.
2. BTW, we got the “Crazy English” book a few days back.
Interesting.
We’ll review it after Churchill’s Secret War by Madhusree Mukerjee, the new book on the Bengal famine in the 1940s.
err.. I was able to [deleted]. I don’t expect this comment to be approved 🙂
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: I was able to ….
Depressing.
Just tested it. You are right. 🙁
Did catch TMK here yesterday. Reminded me of a humorous incident I heard about a guy in a modern fiction class. Apparently the class was reviewing “The Outsider” by Albert Camus. This gentleman hadn’t read the book, which he was supposed to have over a weekend. So when he showed up in class on the Monday, he decided to pretend that he had. He heard the class talking about the novel’s protagonist Meursault’s mother dying, so when his professor asked him, he smartly claimed that he had read up to the point where Meursault’s mother died. His professor then requested him to open the book. As luck would have it, the first lines said:
Translated:
All of us watching the movie felt TMK was fun up to “Sheila ki jawani”, then it went downhill. Pity that the song was within the first 10 minutes.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. We still can’t for the life of us grasp why Bollywood turned to a crappy English film for ‘inspiration.’
TMK ought to rightfully end up a mega-disaster but in Incredible India Akshay Kumar, Farah, Kat might have the last laugh.
2. What came before Sheila Ki Jawani:
a. Aaj Ki Raat (Anamika)
b. Piya Tu Ab To Aaja….Monica (Caravan)
c. Beedi song (Omkara)
d. Ishq Ki Galli (No Entry)
The dude is in two new movies.. aren’t you going to watch them?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Hallo Sweetie!
May watch True Grit…not sure though.
We’re keener on The King’s Speech (Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter). Garnered an incredible 95% rating on RT.
Good to see U back. Why have U closed your comments for such a long time??
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Howdy Sweetie?
Preoccupied with writing some other stuff that we may publish here in a month or two plus putting out some wildfires here and there.
BTW, we were tempted to see Ragada last night but since we were in a not-too-sober state and had little sleep the previous night (thanks to Kamal Haasan’s Manmadhan Ambu), we didn’t want to risk the 35-mile drive to the crappy theater where a local Andhra guy screens almost every Telugu film.
Life is going on. But not me 🙂 …………Is Ragada released?? I don’t know. By the way, have you reviewed RGV’s Raktha Charithra diology?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
No, we skipped RGV’s Raktha Charithra.
However, yesterday we watched 30-minutes of RGV’s Kaun (Urmila Matondkar, Manoj Bajpai). The sound effects in the movie were so weird (presumably to infuse terror in us) that we gave up in disgust.
Ragada made it here as does every Telugu film including Nagavalli, Orange, Baava et al.
My advice to Farah Khan is stop directing films and concentrate on Choreography at least she will reduce some weight.
TMK is really disappointing………..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: My advice to Farah Khan is stop directing films and concentrate on Choreography at least she will reduce some weight.
Unfortunately, good advice often falls on deaf ears.
my friend’s comments after watching “tees maar khan”-the only thing we enjoyed in movie was dhobi ghat trailer during interval!!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Nice one.
They featured the Dhobi Ghat trailer here too during the Tees Maar Khan show.
Hey have u watched the movie Do Dooni Chaar (2010). I watched it and loved it. Rishi Kapoor is superb. If u haven’t watched it till now, try to watch it asap. You’ll like it too…………………………. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Dooni_Chaar
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We’ll watch it if we can get it on Netflix.