The sad question that came to our mind after a lousy meal at Mirchi Indian restaurant in North Brunswick, NJ:

Devuda, Devuda, what grave sin have the citizens of New Jersey committed that they should be subjected to such trashy dumps?

These days, it seems every desi bozo in New Jersey with a few coins jingling in its pocket has a restless itch on his cojones that won’t abate until he opens an Indian restaurant.

Worse, these schmucks often succeed in their mission and, going by our dining experience, plunge the dagger into the reputation of Indian cuisine.

Mirchi NJ – Flavorless Dump
The latest Indian shithole oops restaurant in New Jersey to offend us and smear the fine name of the divine Indian cuisine is a flavorless, flies-ridden dumpster called Mirchi in North Brunswick on RT-1 (near Regal Commerce).

The deserted, forlorn dining room and a Tamil-speaking waiter relaxing on the bench outside and yakking away on the cell-phone during the lunch hour were the first ominous signs that all was not well at Mirchi NJ.

When we walked into Mirchi NJ around 1PM the other day, there was just one diner (not sure if he was part of staff). Subsequently, two others dropped in.

It was only after we completed our horrid meal that we understood why this New Jersey Indian restaurant attracted so few diners during the peak lunch time.

Easy answer, folks: The food at Mirchi NJ is for the most part disgustingly bland and completely unlike the hot and spicy Indian food we’re used to.

With a name like Mirchi, the least you’d expect of an Indian restaurant is to serve mostly hot and spicy food.

Alas, with few exceptions, the bungling baboons in Mirchi’s kitchen take perverse, sadistic pleasure in dishing out bland, boring Indian food.

If there were a law against restaurant mislabeling in New Jersey, Mirchi’s owners would have drawn a really stiff punishment.

Bland Indian Food – Not Worth It

Bitter Ordeal at Mirchi NJ
Set in a brown-colored, medium thick sauce, Mirchi’s Egg Plant Curry was a bitter ordeal we wouldn’t serve to our dog (that is, if we had one). Somebody, please tell the yokels in Mirchi’s kitchen they ought to sample food before serving it to diners.

An unparalleled assault on the taste-buds, Aloo Channa was a miserable, bland, spiceless monstrosity that could have only come from a hare-brained chef. To serve such garbage to diners is to tacitly plead with them not to ever return to this hovel.

Sambar, a most common South Indian preparation, was low on Tamarind and suggested a kitchen with limited skills.

We were terribly disappointed that there was no Rasam but instead a crappy Vegetable Soup.

Don’t get us started on the horrid Mutter Paneer, devoid of any taste or flavor.

Mercifully, Vegetable Biryani was a scrap of comfort. A spicy, aromatic delight it was one of the few exceptions in an overall horrible meal.

Lazy Swines at Mirchi NJ
The Chutneys (Coconut, Tomato and Mint) were very cold, a clear sign that they weren’t fresh and had just been removed from the refrigerator.

What a bunch of lazy swines.

Most certainly, not a single Mirchi (chillies) was used in the making of Coconut Chutney because it was so insipid. The other two Chutneys were all right but nothing remarkable.

We won’t waste your time by dwelling on the lukewarm Zucchini Pakoras and the Plaintain Bajjis. Just not worth it.

Equal Opportunity Offenders
There wasn’t much solace for the carnivores either at Mirchi NJ.

Chicken Biryani was a total disaster. A flavorless travesty, if any spices or chillies were used in its preparation it was solely in the chef’s imagination.

Chicken Curry was worse, an inedible atrocity. Offered in a thin watery, bland gravy, the bony curry was an affront to diners.

In utter despair, we wondered how an Indian restaurant could go wrong with such commonplace items.

The sole saving grace on the non-vegetarian side was the delicious, spicy Tandoori Chicken, which had a hot, spicy paste smeared on it.

Sorry Desserts
There wasn’t much relief from desserts either.

Nope.

Gulab Jamun was a partially cooked mess in an over-sweet syrup suggesting an utter disdain for paying customers. It would have been nice to get some cardamom flavor from the syrup but, alas, we had no such luck.

Mirchi NJ – Dirty Shit-Hole
Besides the overall lousy food, the other sickening aspect of Mirchi in North Brunswick were the flies hovering around the dining table and buffet tables.

It’s no secret that India is a shit-hole but must we prove it to Americans too by keeping our restaurants dirty.

Disgusting to see the flies in the dining room. Shows the scant regard the Mirchi bozos have for hygiene. Dirty tablecloths were lying on the floor in the dining room. May Shani wreak his worst on the careless and callous owners of Mirchi NJ.

Our Caucasian waiter was polite and the service overall was adequate.

Abhiruchi, Coriander, iSpice & Dosa Grill – Way Better
Folks, if you are hankering for tasty, spicy Indian food in the vicinity of Regal Commerce on RT-1 the restaurants to visit are Abhiruchi, Coriander, iSpice and Dosa Grill.

Not the spice-neutered impostor Mirchi, which seems to be keen on pandering to effete American palates.

Mirchi NJ is a trashy pretender of an Indian restaurant oops dumpster unworthy of your money or time.

Hesitate not to show the dirty, incompetent clowns at Mirchi your middle finger with gusto.

  Mirchi NJ, New Jersey Indian Restaurants