Of the major religions we’ve had the most exposure to, i.e. Christianity, Hinduism and Islam, there’s not the slightest doubt in our mind that all three are absolute balderdash.

Total nonsense.

Their insane practices, stupid prayers, bizarre sacrifices and mindless adherents drive us up the wall.

They merely offer solace to the dimwits desperate for a crutch from the conundrums, disappointments and sorrows of everyday life.

But of Jainism we knew little, except what we’d studied in History lessons in a distant era.

All we could remember was that it was supposed to be an extremely non-violent religion, had two sects (Digambars and Svetambars) and Mahavir was one of the great figures associated with Jainism.

Lately, we had the opportunity to renew our acquaintance with Jainism through a reading of The Nun’s Tale, the first essay in William Dalrymple’s new book Nine Lives.

The interesting essay details how and why Rekha (a.k.a. Prasannamati Mataji), a Digambara Jain and one-time Amitabh Bachchan-Rekha fan became a nun and a short account of Jainism itself.

Folks, if you are looking at a quick summary of what we learned, here we go – Jains are the ultimate sado-masochists.

By their whacko actions, the Jains make the Jihadi nut-cases seem almost sane.

Take for instance the Jain practice of Sallekhana, which is nothing but suicide by slow starvation.We think it’s a horrific, barbaric practice inherent in the religion and wholly sanctioned by the Jain community.

Of course, the Jains put a wonderful spin on Sallekhana by describing it as a peaceful giving up of the body or embrace of a new life (P.7 of The Nun’s Tale).

Read what the nut case Prasannamati Mataji has to say:

No, no; sallekhana is not suicide…It is quite different. Suicide is a great sin, the result of despair. But sallekhana is as a triumph over death, an expression of hope….

We believe that death is not the end,  and that life and death are complementary. So when you embrace sallekhana you are embracing a whole new life – it’s no more than going through from one room to another…..

With suicide, death is full of pain and suffering. But Sallekhana is a beautiful thing. There is no distress or cruelty. As nuns our lives are peaceful, and giving up the body should also be peaceful. You have the Tirthankaras‘ names on your lips, and if you do it slowly and gradually, in the prescribed way, there is no pain; instead there is a gentle purity in all the privations.

Starving oneself to death is an expression of hope?

Ha ha ha, we’re having a hard time here controlling our laughter. 😆

Then there are the other insane Jain restrictions for their nuns and Munis like plucking the hair by the root, eating only once a day, not taking bath and not using Western medicine even when extremely sick, the last surely a death sentence in itself.

And what about the Jain community and the sado-masochistic bastards, the Maharajs, Munis and Matajis, who practice, tolerate, encourage and abet these insane practices on girls as young as 15 (Prasannamati Mataji in Dalrymple’s essay was 15 when her hair was plucked out in preparation for her diksha).

Only One Life

Folks, forget what the nut-jobs say about the liberation, Moksha and other such piffle.

There’s only one life – And that is in the here and now on this planet.

Everything else is baloney, notwithstanding what the so-called holy books might say.

There are no virgins waiting in heaven, no Moksha, no everlasting bliss, no salvation. None of that nonsense.

To be sure, we’ve gained a few things by our re-acquaintance with Jainism – We think more often now about the importance of walking, respect for other living creatures, non-violence and curbing our insane desire for the newest and latest electronic gadgetry.

No, that doesn’t mean we’re gonna give up our favorite Chicken Manchurian or lusting after Canon T2i or Jennifer Lawrence. At least, not any time soon. 😉