I’m not a spy.
I’m a businesswoman….Please let me go home.
(Brutal torture by North Korean agents follows.)
I’m not a spy. I’m not a spy.
– Evelyn Salt inside a North Korean prison
Folks, we’ve just returned from the midnight show of the new Angelina Jolie film Salt.
Of course, like all most action movies Salt too is a wildly implausible tale featuring the CIA, Russian spies, moles, assassination attempts on top Russian and American leaders, nuclear bombs, fast car chases and lots and lots of bang bang, dishoom dishoom.
But the movie is also a helluva entertaining ride if you are into these senseless but well executed Bourne-style action films.
Angelinaaah’s Show, Completely
Undoubtedly, the star of the show is Angelina Jolie.
And what a jolly time Ms.Jolie offers viewers.
Gosh, we came (well, almost) at the sight of her literal and figurative pyrotechnics. 😉
The woman is electrifying on the screen. Really.
Makes her performance in Mr and Mrs.Smith (2005) look like a warm-up act. No kidding.
Gee, What Panache
There’s no high-wire act the 35-year-old Hollywood actress doesn’t tackle in Salt – walk the high ledge of a tall apartment complex, jump out of an helicopter without a parachute into the Potomac river, kill a whole barge of Russian spies, escape from a CIA building, survive brutal torture by North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il’s henchmen, jump from the top of one fast-moving truck to another on the highway or hijack a police car.
And more.
By God, the 90-minute film is one lengthy adrenalin rush.
Who needs cocaine with Angie baby around!
All of it rendered with an extraordinary degree of panache.
It’s hard to think of any other Hollywood actress accomplishing what Angeline Jolie does in Salt with anywhere near the same degree of excellence.
If you insist on the broad outline of a story, Angelina Jolie plays Evelyn Salt a CIA operative with a loving husband, who is an arachnologist (expert on spiders).
On the anniversary of their marriage, just as she’s about to leave the office to join dear hubby comes a bombshell when a defector walks into the CIA with a stunning disclosure of a secret Russian sleeper agent inside the American spy agency plotting sinister crimes that will seriously damage relations between the two nations.
From that moment on, it’s a fast-paced, hang-tight, fasten-your-seat-belt ride until the final seconds.
We hear Angeline Jolie did some of the daredevil stunts herself. Bravo.
Guys, all our so-called Bollywood ‘men’ combined can’t do an action film one-tenth as effectively as Angelina Jolie. We swear.
To the critics who may carp that Salt is a predictable film, we say not completely so.
There are a few twists in the BS story to keep you glued to the screen.
Watch Salt
This weekend, make Salt and Angelina Jolie your port of call.
Do NOT extend your middle finger to Salt.
Au contraire, bring your palms together Indian ishtyle as a salute to this Hollywood diva. 😉
Salt Review – Angelinaaah! Rocks in Action Flick added by SearchIndia.com on
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Did you watch “Wanted”(also starring Jolie mami)? utterly senseless, but quite entertaining..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
No, but since we’re in a ‘senseless’ mood lately we’ll watch it soon. Let’s see if RedBox has it.
Redbox probably won’t have it.. it is a movie from 2008.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yeah, didn’t find it in two RedBox kiosks.
Other day when we were watching Inception, the guy next to us was seriously thinking and taking notes (?!) on some dialogues. We enquired him out of curiosity and he said that he’s gonna write a review for a website so he is collecting required information since he had poor memory. Its you who struck in my mind immediately… 😉
So you enter the theater as a reviewer or usual audience who cam to enjoy the film. Will your critic instinct always be turned on while watching the film?
Like “oh this scene is total crap, I should bash it in the review” or “oh shit! i came and wet my new pant/panties ( 😉 ) watching this scene”
how you manage to recollect the film while reviewing…coz I use to forget almost half of the scenes (and even the movie name if its a crap) the very next day I wake up.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Since we start on the reviews immediately after watching the movie, recollecting key scenes is not an issue.
Also, we try to listen to the songs at least once before the film.
While we do look at the individual scenes, our tendency is to focus more on the ‘big picture.’
Saw Salt and Inception this weekend.
Salt was all Angelina. But the same old plot, bad ass Russians against Americans was a bit too much for my liking.
Moreover I dont like the idea of men getting ass kicked by women. 😉
I prefer something like Bourne.
There were a few twists, but the final one was pretty predictable.
If you ask about Inception, I have no idea what people are going so crazy about.
Movie was okay. But I hate it when movies get the rewards they dont deserve.
I strongly believe that Nolan got this idea while he was dreaming.
There is hardly any moment in the movie which will stick to your mind.
Saw the trailer of American. Have great hopes. Clooney hardly disappoints.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You Write Above: But I hate it when movies get the rewards they dont deserve.
Guess, you must hate Bollywood films then since 99% of them are unworthy of even being screened.
@abhi220:
“If you ask about Inception, I have no idea what people are going so crazy about.”
It’s safer to accept that you didn’t understand the multi-layered story-telling, with many possible explanations, rather than make arguments from ignorance. BTW, the same goes for SI’s reviewers who have used the “hey look, even the actors don’t understand!” argument.
“I hate it when movies get the rewards they dont deserve.”
Okay, after the argument from ignorance, you now make an argument from authority? Hell, when I lambast a shitty-a$$ flick like “Slumdog Millionaire,” I know EXACTLY the grounds on which I am ripping the movie apart- the crappy acting by the principal characters, the done-to-death Bollywood-esque storyline about brothers separating and meeting and all that nonsense, the ridiculous parallels between the questions and his life that is again Bollywood-esque, and the gratuitous Bollywood dance at the end.
“I strongly believe that Nolan got this idea while he was dreaming.”
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Nolan’s statement indicate he had been working on it for close to a decade, and it indeed draws influences from Cronenberg’s “eXistenZ” and Alex Proyas’ “Dark City”- two extremely underrated cult-classics.
That said, August Kekule saw the structure of benzene in a dream/reverie. I guess dreams are not as bad as you make it out to be.
“There is hardly any moment in the movie which will stick to your mind.”
That’s your opinion. I couldn’t get the movie out of my mind for 3 days straight. The more I think about it, the more I appreciate Nolan’s deliberate attempts at mind-f**k. Cases in point:
a. Cobb’s totem is not his, but his wife’s.
b. When Cobb takes the totem from Mal’s subconscious, was he meant to take it as part of an inception (which he taught his wife)? Now this….
c. leads us to ask whether the concept of a totem is indeed reliable. Then again, all a totem does is distinguish whether you’re in someone else’s dream or not. A totem does NOT distinguish between reality and dreams, because….
d. a totem is part of your subconscious and should behave exactly like you want it to- either it spins indefinitely or it doesn’t. Therefore…
e. you are now forced to look at the ending of the movie differently; one of its many interpretations.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: It’s safer to accept that you didn’t understand the multi-layered story-telling, with many possible explanations, rather than make arguments from ignorance.
Dream on. Dream on.
A multi-layered film, if well done, is a treat to watch, its memories lingering long after the show ends.
Au contraire, Inception with all its dream within a dream, stealing/planting ideas in the dream state et al is multi-layered cockamamie nonsense.
Now, before you board the ‘suspension of disbelief’ train and start frothing at the mouth about how all or most movies are in a sense implausible caricatures of reality we’ll grant you that. In exchange, the director guarantees to tingle your senses. Alas, we, Abhi220 and countless others never got to experience that pleasing thrill in Inception.
Sure, we’ll concede that Inception is different. But then Charles Manson was also different. 😉
All that said, unlike crappy Bollywood movies viewer response to a movie like Inception can be highly subjective and given its unusual theme tend to be even visceral.
You either Love it or Hate it. Little room left in between.
BTW, you might find this piece in the Sunday NYT interesting – Everybody’s a Critic of the Critics’ Rabid Critics
2. And pray what’s wrong with a well executed Bollywood-esque film a la Slumdog Millionaire.
Or does it stick in your craw to see a little known White Man swooping in from the outside and cornering all the glory.
3. You write: I know EXACTLY the grounds on which I am ripping the movie apart – the crappy acting by the principal characters,
Ha ha ha, you really ought to start watching movies with eyes open.
By universal acknowledgment, the kids did a stellar job. Now, don’t tell us the kids had too minor a role and it was all the London wateva Patel’s movie.
4. You write: the ridiculous parallels between the questions and his life that is again Bollywood-esque
Regarding the parallels, in the adept hands of a competent director the seemingly ridiculous turned into the sublimely engrossing.
5. You write: the gratuitous Bollywood dance at the end.
That ‘gratuitous’ Bollywood dance that you deride has been performed at countless major events – at the Oscars, Oscars-after party, NBC et al.
But then what do all those schmucks who eagerly sought the performance of this Bollywood dance at prestigious forums know!
Guess, they were all dreaming.
Or maybe dreaming inside a dream inside a dream. Multi-layered enough for you?