When Tamil film actor Vijay shuffles off his mortal coils, the coffin lowered, the last heap of soil flung on the decorated box and the tombstone erected, the epitaph will most likely read Punnaku Pandi – Failed Comedian.
With a zany knack for picking films whose only qualification is that they must be bizarrely nonsensical in every sense, Vijay has in recent years earned the wrath and scorn of all sentient, thinking beings in his relentless, shameless frenzy for pelf in the near term and political power in the longer term.
Be it Villu, Kuruvi or some of Vijay’s older films like Madurey, Sivakasi, suffice it to say that they plumb the dregs of the cinema world.
What starts off as pursuit of a heroic career in films will undoubtedly collapse for Vijay in a limp Vadivellian finale.
Take for instance Vijay’s 2005 movie Sivakasi.
Never has there been as asinine a spectacle on the screen. And unlikely there ever will be, unless, of course, Vijay has a hand role in it.
We consider it a Hail Mary miracle we survived the Sivakasi ordeal.
The movie starts off badly enough with cops hauling a bad guy called Pallaku Pandi into a police lockup and the incensed man stripping his clothes and displaying his crown jewels to the assembled newsmen and photographers, who recoil in revulsion at the sight.
Repulsive as the beginning might seem, the film gets exponentially worse by the frame.
By the way, can someone expound on why in most Vijay films the bad elements invariably look like pigs after a leisurely gambol in the Cooum. Well, how else can you make Vijay seem handsome to movie-goers. 😉
With a hideous fig leaf story of an ‘orphan’ welder in Chennai surrounded by a bunch of cronies (including a no-good lawyer and a pygmy) mouthing dialogs like Sivakasi lookae thani, with the Mallu midget Asin and her ‘twin’ as his accomplice in crime and some of the oddest fight scenes that would give even Bond, ahem James Bond pause, Vijay lunges for the viewers’ throats in this lengthy nightmare.
The only parallel we could think of for Vijay’s ceaseless brutality was the horrible hyena in Yann Martel’s Life of Pi tearing into the half-dead zebra before Pi’s fear-struck, agonized, anguished, helpless eyes.
Like the prolonged agony of the zebra, the grief of Sivakasi viewers (the countless Piscine Molitor Patels) is extended. For close to three infinitely long hours.
In a just world, Sivakasi alone would be enough to exile Vijay to an Indian Kalaupapa or a Helena, far from human habitation. But since Incredible India is the setting for the monstrous crime, this bozo is feted for his magnificent feat.
As if all the heretofore nonsense were not enough for 100 lifetimes, in the second half the director introduces a weird twist into the Sivakasi tale.
An unlikely twist that only a mundharikottai a.k.a. Perarasu can visualize involving a young boy Muthappa in Nattuarasankottai village and his evil older brother Udhayappa (grownup version played with some degree of credibility by Prakash Raj).
Folks, only in Kollywood can a zero answering to the roll-call of Perarasu be so (ir)responsible for such a story, screenplay, dialogs, lyrics and, possibly the worst crime after the Holocaust, direction as well.
Trashy Music
What’s an Indian movie without that mainstay of music, right?
The solace of many a bad Indian movie is the soothing balm of music.
Alas, in Sivakasi the musical effect is one of striking nettles on bare, tender skin.
The music and the accompanying picturization in Sivakasi are so horrid that they beggar belief.
As if one Vijay on the screen were not bad enough, we have the silly multi-image photographs in the song Ye Vaada Vaada featuring the hero and a covey of girls in short costumes. The multi-image nonsense reappears later in the Deepavalli Deepavalli song as well.
Not since we heard of some chimps escaping their confines and going berserk on a vat of toddy, have we seen such simian antics like Vijay and Asin in the song Deepavalli Deepavalli (you can watch this nonsense in this YouTube video here)
Horrific, Emasculating Stunts
And what can we say about the amateurish, sickening fight scenes featuring Vijay in a snarling, frothing frenzy vanquishing hordes of heavily-armed baddies time and again bare-handed except that it drove us nuts and sent us rushing for solace in a bottle.
Be it the first fight with Pullakku Pandi’s henchmen after their leader is arrested, the second emasculating fight with Pandi where Vijay inflicts severe damage not merely to the baddie’s torso but to his cock as well (no kidding here on Vijay robbing the man’s manhood) or the later fights in Udhayappa’s house, they are such sick shit that can be purveyed only by Vijay.
Now, don’t even ask us about the caliber of acting of this satanic duo (Vijay and Asin, who else) in the film.
Suffice it to say, they wouldn’t pass muster anywhere except in the cesspool of Kollywood.
Our Thanks
In exchange for the torture Vijay inflicted on our tender souls with this garbage, we’ve decided to re-baptize the bozo herewith as Punnaku Pandi, a twist on the bad guy we meet at the beginning of the movie.
If this be a Faustian bargain, so be it!
That dung like Sivakasi were made and released in theaters a mere five years back is but a reflection of a deep malaise in the Tamil milieu out of which such trash emerges.
After all, doesn’t art imitate life.
Related Stories:
Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura
Thirupaachi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Capture of Bin Laden
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the ‘Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi & The Art of Nonsense added by SearchIndia.com on
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if i was to be honest, i think of your lot of vijay movies you’ve watched recently, the most bearable film is probably Sivakasi.
And with the exception of Pokkiri, what Vijay films have you actually enjoyed?
oh btw, i watched this funny clip on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A28hTDDiuas&feature=related
i think its just funny that his next one is called Sura (are you going to watch it this week end?)
and i just found out that Vijay is doing the tamil remake of 3 idiots (playing Rancho)…Vijay is doing an Aamir Khan remake…here’s a sentence i never thought i would say…
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: And with the exception of Pokkiri, what Vijay films have you actually enjoyed?
Having watched so many fine movies in the last three years, we probably wouldn’t relish Pokiri too now.
2. You write: oh btw, i watched this funny clip on youtube
They missed the Korangu (monkey).
2. You write: i think its just funny that his next one is called Sura (are you going to watch it this week end?)
Probably not.
We’re more keen on the Oscar winner The Secret in Their Eyes.
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Punnaku Pandi & the Destruction of Tamil Cinema
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad
I still remember the song “Ada ennatha solvenungo” and accompanying video become very popular upon its release with repeated airplay on all the channels
SearchIndia.com Responds:
In a state where jokers like Karunanidhi and Stalin are popular, is it any surprise then that two bozos jumping up and down like they’ve been possessed by the devil should attract interest.
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Punnaku Pandi & the Destruction of Tamil Cinema
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad
Aiyo kadavulae..
Are you going to review the other old Vijay movies too? How did you miss Thirupaatchi.. Periakusu’s debut.. Both of these movies were blockbusters and that unleashed one of the stinkiest directors in Kollywood..
It needed Ajith’s super-flop power to take down the Periakusu juggernaut.. via Thirupathi..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: are you going to review the other old Vijay movies too?
Yes, honey. Madurey review coming later tonight. 😉
Just dropped the Netflix DVD in the mailbox.
2. You write: How did you miss Thirupaatchi.. Periakusu’s debut.. Both of these movies were blockbusters
It doesn’t take much for a film to become a hit in India. All it needs to be is of super-shit quality. 😉
Netflix doesn’t stock Thirupaatchi.
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Punnaku Pandi & the Destruction of Tamil Cinema
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Art of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad
Even tirupathi ran 100 days :-
Perarasu also directed this crap movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-svqUcKu7I
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Watched the video in your link.
Acme of nonsense. Ha ha ha.
In case you haven’t watched Gapton’s introduction here u go. Only steven perarasu can direct such a movie. 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWWN5UJBdwQ&feature=related
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Who said Laurel & Hardy were dead.
They are together in the one-and-only Dooper-star Vijaykant. 😉
Forget Vettaikaran, Madhurey, Sivakasi, Tirupachhi, Thirumalai, Villu, Kuruvi, Aathi, Gilli, etc.
I suggest that you watch Garam Hawa (Scorching Winds) (made in 1973 by M.S.Sathyu), a movie that portrays the dilemma of a Muslim family living in Agra in post-partition days. Watching it will (as you often say), restore your faith in motion pictures as a form of art. I also believe that you havent watched that fine performer by the name of Balraj Sahni, who plays the central character in Garam Hawa. You may not get this movie on Netflix, so you may have to order the DVD. You will get subtitles as well, since the dialogues have a lot of Urdu words.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You are right. Netflix doesn’t carry Garam Hawa. Let’s see if we can get it elsewhere.
BTW, we’ve seen a few Balraj Sahni movies including one in a ‘tent’ many decades back. The movie was Ek Phool Do Mali.
While “Garam Hawa” is definitely a hard-hitting tale (and considered Sahni’s best performance ever), you cannot talk about him and not talk about “Do Bigha Zameen” (a Cannes Festival winner) or “Kabuliwala.” Netflix must carry one or both of these movies. In a time when restrained performances were rarely heard of in Indian cinema, Sahni really epitomized the kind. It’s sad that he died soon after dubbing for ‘Garam Hawa.’
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Of the three films you mention, Netflix has Kabuliwala. A story, we re-read recently.
We’ll watch it next week.
Plan to watch Panchatantiram (Kamal Haasan) later today.
This Perarasu is one of the monkeys from the Rama “animal” Narayanan directorial tree. Vijay reminds me of a drunkard who forgets that once he’s drunk, he’d puke. Yet he does that on a daily basis.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Knowledgeable (??) folks like Mahatma (pl see comment above) say Perarasu has delivered blockbusters.
Go figure.
Mahatma is right (atleast for once). In 2005, Thirupacchi and Sivakasi got released coinciding with Pongal and Diwali respectively. Both with Vijay-Perarasu combo went on to become blockbusters. I guess Thirupacchi did more business than Sivakasi.
Highlight of Thirupacchi…
You will squeeze your balls yourself when Vijay appears on screen with his face fully covered with Turmeric paste (with a large kumkum in forehead) to hide himself from the baddies…obviously a fight follows without a drop of the paste falling on ground.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Vijay appears on screen with his face fully covered with Turmeric paste (with a large kumkum in forehead) to hide himself from the baddies…obviously a fight follows without a drop of the paste falling on ground.
Seems like a must-watch Punnaku Pandi film. 😉
We’ll see if we can get hold of the Tirupachhi DVD soon.
Tirupachi is one of the horrible movies directed by [deleted] perarasu. A song from that movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdaxB-ZU1Pc
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Sick shit (we mean the song/dance in the above video).
http://vini4u.blogspot.com/2008/04/manichitrathazhu.html
so ….
not in Netflix…. well…hmm.. nice movie.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Will watch Manichitrathazhu for sure. Soon.
Manichitrathazhu is definitely one of my favourite Malayalam film….Shobana is AMAZING…
Actually, its only after watching this that i realised that Chandramukhi is pure average, and that Bhool Bhulaya is pure crap….
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Bhool Bhulaiyaa was sheer torture.
Here’s SI’s (pre-blog) review of Bhool Bhulaiyaa.
BTW, we find Shobana sexy. 😉 The woman’s got class, a rara avis in the Indian movie business.
Vijay’s sura is releasing this friday. Are you going to watch it.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Likely not.
We’re planning for this year’s Best Foreign Film Oscar winner The Secret in Their Eyes.
Right. Ek Phool Do Mali has Balraj Sahni along with Sanjay Khan (brother of late Feroz Khan, and father-in-law of Hritik Roshan). The movie has some popular songs too:
(1) O nanhe se farishte, tujhse ye kaisa naata, kaise ye dil ke rishte, (2) Yeh parda hata do,
are two songs that I have heard a lot of times on AIR.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Ye Parda Hata Do is one of our favorites too. Lovely number.
Thirupaachi is the film,you’re yet to watch! 😛
Anyway,you can just more or less write the same review you’ve posted for this movie,for Therupaachi and Vettikaaran and the forth-coming A-Suran too(Deliberately misspelt a few words. 😀 )
Starting from 2004,when he delivered a watchable Ghilli(His biggest blockbuster),Vijay has just been delivering the stale formulaic films(Where nothing new must be expected in any aspect.),of which Thirupaachi and Sivakasi became hits,while Madurey seemed to have opened big and fared well too.
But after Pokkir’s success,he delivered 3 big flops and is now relying on Sun Pictures to get a success.(You’ll either suffer from headache and switch off the channel unable to bear the hype;or be tempted to watch the movie in cinema halls.)
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Thirupaachi is the film,you’re yet to watch!
We plan to start watching Thirupachchi in a few minutes (it’s 9:16AM ET here, 6:47PM IST), and as always we’ll watch the movie with an unbiased, open frame of mind.
Who knows?
Thirupachchi may well turn out to be a classic and we could have a string of orgasms even as we’re watching the images on the screen.
Vijay, Trisha here we
cumoops come. 😉You haven’t reviewed Precious, Crazy Heart, The Blind Side.. just to name a few of the new movies.. I haven’t watched them either but I’d like your opinion on those.
but you watching 5 year old Vijay movies.. Criminal waste of time.. What sort of bizarre experiment is this?!! Nobody wants these reviews.. ¿Comprende?? 😉
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: You haven’t reviewed Precious, Crazy Heart, The Blind Side
Who cares!
We have bigger fish to fry – Thirupachchi, Vettaikaran, Aathi et al. 😉
K*&thi will rhyme better with Aathi.. than it did with Kuruvi.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
😉
Consider yourself blessed if u haven’t seen Vettaikaran yet.
His WORST movie.
Sivakasi was a film which i enjoyed a bit, here and there. The music wasn’t any good but the lyrics of Vaada Vaada and Dheivathuke maaruveshamaa were good.
I’d go as far as to say that Sivakasi is one of Vijay’s tolerable movies 😛
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Consider yourself blessed if u haven’t seen Vettaikaran yet.
Oh, we have. we have.
Review coming later today. 😉
Friends was a decent movie starring Vijay, Surya,meena, Vadivelu etc.
A remake of a malayalam movie of the same name.
Try to watch Thulladha manamum thullum. Decent movie(atleast when compared to his other trash)
Decent music. It does have two or three nonsensical fights but still,I found the movie to be decent overall.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We may have Friends in our collection. Will check later today.
Why do you put yourself through these tortures? :)) by the way “Doctor” Visay nu sollunga 🙂 )))))))))))))
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You again, never mind.
2. You write: by the way “Doctor” Visay nu sollunga
Is it true that Punnaku Pandi a.k.a. “Doctor” Visay got his honorary doctorate from a veterinary university in Tamil Nadu?
After all, no one can say “Doctor” Visay has not done his best to entertain the animal kingdom (his fans, we mean). 😉