You hear us, Half-Dak, Vetti Jijaji, rgh3176, vivek?
Give us our $6 back.
Is this junk the movie that scared the bejesus out of all you pussies.
Thank God, we are cheapo desis and went for the Super-Bargain Matinee ($6 tickets) and didn’t fork out $10 for an evening show.
Not Scary in the Least
Folks, notwithstanding what you may have heard about Paranormal Activity there’s nothing even remotely scary about the movie.
Not even the final scene, which admittedly startled us but no more.
In its essence, the movie is about a haunted house in San Diego whose human denizens are Micah Sloat, a day-trader and his girl-friend Katie Featherston, an English major student.
We quickly learn that the ghost’s main interest is in Katie.
As the whisperings, scratchings on the wall and the open faucets get on Katie’s nerves, a psychic is called in but the guy is no help. He tells them the haunting is ‘feeding off on negative energy’ and recommends they employ a demonologist, who conveniently happens to be out of the country.
Over the course of the next several nights, the door closes on its own, noises are heard downstairs and coming up on the staircase, lights get switched on, shadows are seen, footsteps are seen on the white powder sprinkled by Micah, Katie is dragged out of bed once, the blanket slips off the bed and their photo-frame on the wall is cracked with a gash on Micah’s face in the picture.
So what?
None of it make a difference because Paranormal Activity is a shoddy film.
Made on the cheap, the quality of this 1-hour 22-minute movie is cheap too.
* The photography is jerky, thanks to the hand-held camera. On occasion, even blurry.
* The lighting is ordinary, with the bedroom filmed mostly in low-light.
* The dialogs mostly banal.
* The sound effects are pathetic and the prosaic sound of steps coming up the flight of stairs or something falling down are not quite enough to send a chill down your spine.
* Overall, the script leaves a lot to be desired and hardly holds you in thrall.
The 27-year-old Katie looks too-grown up for a student (out of sheer ennui, we started ogling her when she was in hotpants/shorts but her unsightly legs put us off).
On the positive side, the acting of the duo is alright but nothing remarkable.
Katie has a slightly larger role but Paranormal Activity is more of a director’s film (Oren Peli).
Stay Away
Folks, if you have lots of time this weekend we recommend that you sleep, wash your car, vacuum your home, scrub your dick, clear the underbrush off your girlfriend, wank off, watch the dreary C-SPAN proceedings of the Senate, read about that buffoon Raj Thackeray, hey, do anything but watch this junk a.k.a Paranormal Activity.
By the way, the only nice part of our movie outing this evening was the Peppermint Chocolate Milkshake ($2.65, small-size) we purchased at Chick-fil-A in the food court after leaving the movie hall.
Simply superb. Guys, we strongly recommend the Peppermint Chocolate Milkshake. But stay clear of the waffle fries. Plain garbage.
OK, folks. It’s nigh on 10PM here on the East Coast. Time to open our bottle.
Scram, now.
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Ahh…I know what this is…Happened to me with slumdog millionaire…movie hype overdose.
I saw it before it came into the limelight and im still scared to close my eyes when the lights are off. Go easy on the movie. It was made on a budget of 11,000$.
Try hindi movie Khosla Ka Ghosla.
PS – When she gets dragged out of bed, i nearly wet myself
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: When she gets dragged out of bed, i nearly wet myself
You ought to try Incontinence Pads. The TV ads say they work wonders. 😉
2. You write: Ahh…I know what this is….movie hype overdose.
Even without the hype, the movie would likely not have made much of an impact on us. But that, of course, is purely hypothetical.
3. You write: I saw it before it came into the limelight and im still scared to close my eyes when the lights are off.
Can’t think of even one scene where we felt our heart in our mouth.
5. You write: Try hindi movie Khosla Ka Ghosla
Khosla Ka Ghosla is available on Netflix Instant Play. Added to our queue. We’ll watch it soon.
6. You write: Go easy on the movie. It was made on a budget of 11,000$.
If budget of a movie has to be a main criterion, we’d rather go with a porn flick. Guess, you can make three XXX flicks for $11,000. 😉
7. You write: Happened to me with slumdog millionaire
Slumdog Millionaire had drama, nice music, Indian setting et al. Paranormal Activity has nothing. Zilch.
Well… Atleast we are on the same side about this one 😀
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yes, YEs and YES. 🙂
over-hype killed it for you 😉 .. i watched with very little expectations..
I never asked you to review it nor did I say that I was scared… was startled on a few occasions, but unlike the kids dak and nair, I didn’t “nearly wet” myself. The movie held my attention for the entire length, unlike the bigger budget horror movies like Shutter & Mirrors etc.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: I never asked you to review it nor did I say that I was scared
Explicitly, no. Tacitly, yes you wanted us to watch it and review it.
Let’s look at some of your previous comments on the movie:
I liked it quite well. Kept me alert throughout. very fine performance by Katie…started watching the movie after midnight and alone.. wifey also wanted to watch with me, but I said we should each watch alone… it has some really good thrills, IMO.
Liked it well? Really good thrills? Very fine performance?
As if all these expressions are not tacit recommendations!
The house isn’t haunted.
The demon has been following Katie ever since she was 8. The theatre print is less scary I’ve been told. The ending isn’t one with the police barging in, right? And I am sure there wasn’t any exorcism/chewing-your-own-arm-to-get-free scene either. About the hype factor, I watched it after hearing a lot about it.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: The house isn’t haunted.
The house is haunted. No ifs, no buts.
Just because the ghost/demon has been following Katie for several years doesn’t make the house ‘not haunted.’ The couple’s house is haunted. If our memory serves us right, they even use the word ‘haunted’ in the movie.
Also true that even if they left the house it wouldn’t help because as the psychic says during his first visit the ghost is attached to Katie. Katie’s location whatever it is would become haunted. So for instance if they left for a hotel room, then the hotel room would become haunted.
Ergo since Katie’s location in the movie is the house it’s haunted.
2. You write: The ending isn’t one with the police barging in, right?
The theatrical version has a different ending.
But the changed ending alone wouldn’t make much of a difference given all that went before it.
3. You write: I am sure there wasn’t any exorcism/chewing-your-own-arm-to-get-free scene either
None of that exorcism/chewing-your-own-arm-to-get-free scene either in the theater version we saw.
This (subtle horror??) genre is probably everybody’s cuppachai. If you like gore and goo, ‘Drag me to hell’ will be a better bet.
They probably changed the theatrical ending to pave way for PA 2, which I’d avoid.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: This (subtle horror??) genre is probably everybody’s cuppachai. If you like gore and goo, ‘Drag me to hell’ will be a better bet.
All horror movies are not all blood and gore.
Take for instance, the famous Halloween movie. It was such a spooky movie although there was little blood and gore.
This time, you have really blown it, didn’t you.
Maybe, it’s either your attitude of showing middle finger to movies which many people liked or it’s just that millions of Americans are dumb enough to give a THUMBS UP to this movie.
For your information, Rottentomatoes gave a rating of 85% to this movie.
To top it all, the most popular movie critic Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars out of 4.
“This film has fared well among the audience because it has something good in it”
Either those people in Rottentomatoes, and Roger Ebert, are dumb or you are a damn smart reviewer. Now, both of these are wrong, aren’t they?
Buddy, You wanna prove that you are the only one with BRAINS!!!!!!! Are we readers fools!!!!!
Like all Indians settled in US, you seem to have that typical ” I am SMART, YOU ARE DUMB” attitude. This will not serve you well!!!!
As for your $6, forget it, you are never getting it back.
@Half-Dak, Vetti Jijaji, rgh3176, vivek – Are you seriously believing in SI’s review.
For the second time, I disagree with SI. This post is an exaggeration and a not-so-good review.
THUMBS DOWN
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You Write Above:
1. Lo, from the philistine who considers that monstrosity Agneepath the ne plus ultra of art form here comes the Sermon from the Mount.
2. You write: it’s just that millions of Americans are dumb enough to give a THUMBS UP to this movie
Aha, so you think numerical strength equals wisdom.
Kiddo, for most people in the world the brain might as well be a vestigial organ.
3. You write: For your information, Rottentomatoes gave a rating of 85% to this movie.
And the Russian people gave 100% approval rating to Stalin in his time.
If it’s any consolation to you, other SI readers like elnino.aurora, shadowfax_arbit and Asha Tampa did not think much of this movie either. They had seen this movie before us.
4. You write: Are we readers fools!!!!!
Well, if you have to ask such questions we can only respond in the affirmative. 😉
5. You write: Like all Indians settled in US, you seem to have that typical ” I am SMART, YOU ARE DUMB” attitude.
Did no one tell you that modesty is our middle name (oh no, not Modesty Blaise, though we used to like her in our childhood) and the credo we live by.
6. BTW, you never told us whether you watched Paranormal Activity.
Since there’s not even a pip-squeak about the movie in your above logorrhea we’ve to assume that you haven’t watched it.
Now, that makes your comment doubly (dis)interesting. 😉
hey, aswin, ‘Like all Indians settled in US’..
What the f! you seem to have issues.
I am settled in the US.. i consider some of the non-US SI-readers from to be far more knowledgeable than me..
yeah, I believe in SI’s review and even respect arbit and asha’s opinion..
A film this simple can best be appreciated by a fairly sophisticated viewer, I think. Your average workaday moviegoer will relate to it on Level One and think it is boring 😉 – plagiarized from Ebert’s surprisingly snobby comment in the Hot Spot review.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Are you as high as us. 😉
* An excruciatingly tedious YouTube gag cleverly marketed to go viral in the broadest and most box office-friendly way. – Austin Chronicle
* Paranormal Activity only occasionally rises above the status of a cute haunted house tour or hayride. – Slant
@Aswin_Kini
Although we talk about movies day in and day out here, I am sure most of us would know how difficult it is to make one that pleases even some people watching it. My point is people have widely differing tastes and I can understand if someone finds a movie (however popular it is) an unwatchable affair.
I believe there is a “hype quanta” at which people enjoy the movie the maximum and above which the experience is ruined as we expect a lot more than what we are going to get. Of course the makers don’t care as long as people buy tickets. And Rotten Tomatoes is as gullible to hype as everyone else. There is the other side where a ‘good’ movie is not marketed well and so it loses. Aagey se right ( http://passionforcinema.com/dvd-watch-aagey-se-right-the-most-underrated-gem-of-the-year/ ) is supposed to be like that.
So yes, I do agree with SI when SI says it isn’t scary in the least and with gnair when gnair says it almost made him wet his pants. And yes, you have bought into the hype. But what you said (about disagreeing with this review) could have been defended/given its due had you taken the pain to watch the movie first.
A review is rightly compared to the movie rather than other reviews but you can use a reviewers words if you identify with that-after watching the movie. Finally, aren’t we all egotist prideful pigs deep inside, professing loyalty to Eros, the god of self-love? 😉
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: So yes, I do agree with SI when SI says it isn’t scary in the least and with gnair when gnair says it almost made him wet his pants.
Different people have different thresholds of fear when they watch a film. So what one finds dull the other would consider petrifying.
good work SI, I see that you have posted excerpts from workaday critics (under 20%).. the fairly sophisticated reviewers (over 80%) think otherwise.
Halloween may not have been too bloody, but the horror wasn’t subtle… and the topless scenes were awesome.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
The hauntingly beautiful music and sound effects added to the scare quotient in Halloween.
In our not-so-humble opinion, a horror movie must have eerie music/sound (not just the banal sound of steps coming up the flight of stairs or something falling down as in Paranormal Activity) and unpredictable twists. The moment you have a broken frame on the wall with ……you know what’s ahead.
That said, as we mentioned earlier the important thing to keep in mind is that different people have different thresholds of fear. What one viewer finds downright mundane another considers terribly scary.
Plus, of course we can’t rule out the possibility of the studios slyly marketing Paranormal Activity via a seemingly grassroots campaign but what is in reality a well orchestrated carpet-bombing PR exercise.
watched informant last week ….i liked it …decent fare …
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We skipped that one.
But we’re familiar with the villain of the movie Archer Daniels Midland, one of the worst scumbag price fixing companies here.
After all, ADM is the company that gave us the infamous line: The competitor is our friend and the customer is our enemy.
SI Wrote:
“Lo, from the philistine who considers that monstrosity Agneepath the ne plus ultra of art form here comes the Sermon from the Mount.”
Aswin Says: Thank ya, my lord, but I just said it was one of Amitabh’s better films, and I think we agreed to disagree with this.
SI wrote:
“Aha, so you think numerical strength equals wisdom.
Kiddo, for most people in the world the brain might as will be a vestigial organ.”
Thanks Mr.Einstein, the next time organizations like NASA face a complex problem, we’ll call you. All HAIL SI. Suck off Mr.Ebert, we found a reviewer who has got more brains than ya. (I am sure you didn’t include Roger Ebert as one of those, did you?)
@Vetti Jijaji:
“hey, aswin, ‘Like all Indians settled in US’..
What the f! you seem to have issues.” You really fell for this line, didn’t you 😉
Where were you sire, when mr/mrs SI made comments like “F**king Hindus, Muslims and blah blah”. If SI generalizes, you people lap it up easily, but if I do, people provide me with sermons!!!! Hope you get my point.
@DW-A(1/2)Dr.
I agree that SI has a totally different taste. I have no problem with the review, but it’s with the way SI states it.
For example, If my friend recommends a film, I watch it and don’t like it. I would just say, “It was a bad/pathetic film”. But look at SI’s language here:
“Is this junk the movie that scared the bejesus out of all you pussies.”
And if you still believe that SI is right in using its beautiful ‘adjectives’, then God bless you.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: If SI generalizes, you people lap it up easily, but if I do, people provide me with sermons
Dai, yaarda adhu namma Aswin_Kini kindle panrathu – Avuru rombha nallavaru. 😉
(who is the rascal teasing Aswin-Kini –the gentleman is a nice soul)
2. You write: Thanks Mr.Einstein, the next time organizations like NASA face a complex problem, we’ll call you.
No, we’re too pissy
f**kingoops fixing Incredible India’s problems galore. 😉3. You write: I just said it was one of Amitabh’s better films
No.
Here’s your verbatim comment on July 30th, 2009: While Deewar is certainly one of Amitabh’s best films, Agneepath is perhaps his best films (sic)
Howzat. 😉
it was scary. Provided, when you are alone in home and lights turned off. The movie has an after effect which is more haunting than the movie itself. The less special effects added to it’s reality. Okay, a lil bit close to it.
Also saw a very fine movie… goodfellas by martin scorsese. Mast movie thi ye.
P.S : watched PA after 00.00 hrs…it set the tone.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: it was scary. Provided, when you are alone in home and lights turned off
We watched it in the theater (5:30PM show along with 20-25 others including a bunch of noisy white girls).
aswin:
I think you are trying to மழà¯à®ªà¯à®ªà®¿fy. you got some inferiority complex going on there.
“And if you still believe that SI is right in using its beautiful ‘adjectives’, then God bless you.”
SI’s tone is always like that.. we are now desensitized..
and i don’t subscribe to any religion.. so i give a damn if SI mocks religion.
I did disapprove the “Indian dads are rapists” theory and the term ‘coolies’..
As Kennedy said, it really is true that this movie has to be watched without distractions.. what could be a worse distraction than noisy white girls! best to be watched at home alone.. seriously.
In the version I saw there was no “broken frame on the wall “.. so looks like they goofed up in the theatrical version..
SI posted a verbatim of my comment:
While Deewar is certainly one of Amitabh’s best films, Agneepath is perhaps his best films (sic)
Howzat. 😉
Didn’t I tell you that we agreed to disagree 😉
Vetti_Jijaji wrote:
aswin:
I think you are trying to மழà¯à®ªà¯à®ªà®¿fy. you got some inferiority complex going on there.
Well, I don’t know what my comment had to do with inferiority complex, but it certainly had something to do with SI’s superiority complex. 😀
Let me put the record straight, I know this is SI’s blog and he/she/it has got all the damn rights in the world to criticize people/places/religions etc. But at the same time, when SI publishes a post, it should realize that the post is wide open to criticism.
SI has a lot of fans, I am among one of them, but just because I am a fan doesn’t mean I won’t criticize.
As they say, “Just because you are great doesn’t mean you never make mistakes”. SI in the recent past has been faulty of indulging in exaggerations, a bit too many, to be precise. As a responsible viewer, I feel I need to correct it.
If none of you like it, kindly state it explicitly, I would never come back here again.
And for SI, it would be good riddance.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. As should be clear to all by now, we’ve no problems with criticism as long as it does not start with The*adiya and end with The*adiya. 😉
2. You write: If none of you like it, kindly state it explicitly, I would never come back here again.
Let a hundred dogs howl, let a hundred critics prevail.
(A bastardized version of the famous Chinese saying Let a hundred flowers bloom; let a hundred schools of thought contend.)
So you’ve no reason to be upset. You can criticize to your
brain’soops heart’s content. 😉Hi Aswin,
Like SI, I want you to stay too. I just wish you wouldn’t get so worked up over things.
May I ask if you know of any Rekha Kini in Chennai? I had a chance meeting with her and your surname reminded me of her.
Hi medytrance, Kini is the surname of many GSBs (Gowda Saraswad Brahmins) living in various states such as Maharasthra, Karnataka, and Kerala.
Although, Rekha Kini sounds very much familiar, I don’t know her. However, there is strong possibility that she might be a distant relative as all KINIs are from one family chain.
I will try to find out.
Sorry, I couldn’t help.
Don’t know why people are targeting the innocent Aswin, today!!! 😉 He is in fact “romba nallavaru”..
@medytrance,
Aswin Kini’s surname would have reminded you of Rekha Kini. But the first name Rekha reminds me only about SI.
Put [deleted]. So SI may be better able to answer 😉
@SI,
By the way, does “Kini Mani” remind you of anyone / “anything” ? 😉
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. The web site you mentioned and that we deleted 😉 is also owned by the owners of this blog.
2. You write: By the way, does “Kini Mani” remind you of anyone
Kini Mani only reminds us of the old song Kanmaniye kaathal enbathu from the Rajinikanth-‘Fatafat’ Jayalakshmi movie Aaril irunthu aruvathu varai.
Hmmm.. you flop..!
I asked about “Kini Mani” and you answer about Kanmani!!
‘Kini-Mani’ means the bell in a hindu priest’s hand [Poojari].. But would colloquially mean a dick 🙂 in some parts of tamilnadu..!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: ‘Kini-Mani’ means …. colloquially … a dick 🙂 in some parts of tamilnadu
Well, thanks for expanding our Tamil Okka-poolari (a.k.a. Vocabulary in English). 😉
I suggest you watch 13 B [Yaavarum Nalam]. It is not a scary movie. But a better movie compared to a lot out there.
[there is a big logical mistake(s) in that movie. Will see if you figure out]
SearchIndia.com Responds:
13B [Yavarum Nalam] is already in our Netflix queue.
Will watch it soon.
THE FILM WAS REALLY GOOD. a lot better than the non-logical indian films (especially tamil vijay films).
The film very much realistic. could have screened the original ending though.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We never got a high upon watching this, not once. 🙁
the movie was pretty good. it is realistic.should watch alone not in a theater. my version didnt have the micah photo gash though.
THE FILM IS LOT BETTER THAN NON-LOGICAL INDIAN MOVIES(especially tamil VIJAY movies)
Watch ‘Rec’..Its a very good movie.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Rec looks interesting, going by the Wiki profile. If Netflix has it, we’ll watch it.