So you quidnuncs want to know about our meal the other day at Mysore Woodlands, the “Pure Vegetarian South Indian Restaurant” in Parisppany, NJ.
As they say in Mysore of bad cooks, Baddi makkalu, adigae aen aenu baralla (these worthless fellows are clueless in the cooking department).
Crappy Then, Crappy Now
You can change the name of your Indian restaurant and even move the restaurant to a new location. But unless you perform a brain transplant on our hopelessly incompetent desi chefs here, nothing’s gonna change. You hear us, nothing.
A couple of years back we had the regrettable experience of dining at Udupi Village in Montclair, NJ. The food was absolutely crappy.
Fast forward two years later.
Udupi Village has now changed its name to Mysore Woodlands and shifted its location 11 miles west to Parsippany.
And guess what?
The food is still absolutely crappy.
Ghastly Experience
It was a hot New Jersey day recently and we were sitting in the Apna Bazar parking lot on Oak Tree Road wondering where to head out for a meal when we espied an ad for Mysore Woodlands restaurant.
So turning on our GPS off we headed to Parsippany (NJ) in hopes of a sumptuous South Indian vegetarian meal.
Alas, our meal was anything but pleasing.
Au contraire, our meal at Mysore Woodlands was a ghastly, disgusting affair.
A forgettable experience. Ugh.
From the cold, bland coconut Chutney to the flavorless Sambar to the impostor of a Mysore Masala Dosa to the inedible Beans Poriyal and all the way down to the sugarless Madras Payasam, Mysore Woodlands is a disgrace. The Abhishek Bachchan of Indian restaurants on the East Coast.
Guys, a South Indian vegetarian restaurant that does not care to serve fresh Chutney to diners but instead dares to offer Cold Chutney invites not merely your contempt but begs you to yell out at the management: Lazy Swines, do you have no shame at all?
If the Coconut Chutney was a cold, bland monstrosity, the Tomato Chutney was a plain, awful travesty since it had a surfeit of Channa Dal and far too little chillies.
The disappointing Chutneys, the emaciated Medhu Vadas and offensively lukewarm Bajjis were but a harbinger of the miseries that lay ahead of us at the hands of these serial sadists.
Just Curious
Are the folks at Mysore Woodlands feeling the pinch of the recession so badly that they can’t afford to throw in a few vegetables into their so-called Sambar? Worse, the Sambar had no flavor and tasted like plain Dal.
As for Mysore Woodlands’ Rasam, all we can say in that bilge water’s favor is that it was hot, i.e. temperature-wise. It was low on tamarind, low on pepper and low on flavor.
And like much of what we tried at Mysore Woodlands, the Rasam was low on a competent chef’s touch.
Lousy Idli, Lousier Dosa
The two Dosas we tried, Mysore Masala Dosa and Onion Rava Dosa were both travesties of the real thing.
Utterly flavorless, not in the least bit crisp, the masala paste unevenly smeared inside and containing a hopelessly bland potato filling, Mysore Woodlands’ Mysore Masala Dosa is enough to turn off even die-hard Dosa aficionados like us forever from this South Indian favorite.
Another put-off was the crisp but tasteless Onion Rava Dosa.
There was no let-up to our misery. To our horror, the Idlis were incompletely cooked inside.
Schmucks, You Call This Pongal
We bet the imbeciles in Mysore Woodlands’ kitchen have never tasted real Pongal in their lives.
If they had, they wouldn’t be serving this apology of a Pongal that had far too little black pepper (a key ingredient of this popular South Indian item) and far too much Moong Dal.
Bet you a million bucks, the chefs at Mysore Woodlands have no idea that such a thing as curry leaves exists.
Disgusting.
By the way, the Pongal could have also done with some ghee.
Avial and Palak Paneer were sour but by this time we’d endured worse and resigned ourselves to our Karma.
Pathetic Desserts
God, nemesis continued to dog our heels even with desserts.
If the Madras Payasam and Gulab Jamun were the real things then we are the voluptuous Zeenat Aman.
Madras Payasam showed no evidence of any sugar in it presumably because some bozo in Mysore Woodlands’ kitchen had used up all of it for the Gulab Jamun syrup, which turned out cloyingly and annoyingly sweet.
One of the few saving graces of our meal was the Mysore Coffee. Unlike the South Indian coffee served at some restaurants in New Jersey and New York, this was the real deal.
Service has improved compared to our experience two years back. Our waiter Harish (from Vijayawada) appeared glum in the beginning but toward the end condescended to bless us with a smile. Hey, miracles never cease.
Stay Away, Far Away
Folks, Mysore Woodlands is one of those pathetic Indian restaurants in New Jersey that pleads to be shown the middle finger.
Given the tripe dished out to diners here, by no stretch of imagination would we consider Mysore Woodlands a real South Indian restaurant.
In our not so humble view, Mysore Woodlands is the home of Marquis de Sade, who can’t wait to swing his cruel whip on you soon as you step into the portals of this wannabe Indian restaurant in Parsippany, NJ.
Mysore Woodlands Review – Marquis de Sade Lives Here added by SearchIndia.com on
View all posts by SearchIndia.com →
Strange that the Udupi folks have renamed themselves after Mysore. Or maybe, the management/owner has changed.
I wonder how they can claim to serve rava dosa and pongal.
Very few hotels in Mysore/B’lore (or for that matter in Udupi) serve proper rava dosa and pongal.
These two taste much better in any hotel in Chennai.
What you need after this not-so-great binge is some good old-fashioned purging. One way to do that is:
Eat only fruits, and drink only fruit juices (no sugar salt added) and water, no coffee/tea/spirits, for three to four days. Go for 15-30 min walks in mornings and evenings. Seriously. I suggest this because you are open to experiments. And this is tried and tested.
You will be fresh and recharged, ready for another round of your binges.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: I wonder how they can claim to serve rava dosa and pongal.
If they’d any brains, these baddi makalu (lousy fellas) would have served us Hayagreeva, Thalipet, Hesarakalu Saaru, Ambode, Kodbale, Bisi Bele Bath, Saagu, Avare Kaalu Uppitu, Majjige Huli, Kosambri et al. Drooling.
2. You write: What you need after this not-so-great binge is some good old-fashioned purging.
We’re trying MTR Jal-Jeera ($1.29) in ice cold water.
3. You write: Go for 15-30 min walks in mornings and evenings.
We’ll do this while we can.
It’s already 52-deg F outside (11-deg centigrade). The cold days are getting here. 🙁
4. You write: Very few hotels in Mysore/B’lore (or for that matter in Udupi) serve proper rava dosa and pongal.
True. Nothing to beat Pongal in Tamil Nadu. We’ve had it in so many cities, big and small there – Vellore, Thanjavur, Villupuram, Madurai, Palani, Chennai, Tindivanam, Mayavaram, Chidambaram et al.
Is there a taste difference in Indian food in Asia (you’ve been to Singapore rite) and America?
I remember my ex telling me that the Indian food in France is sweet and catered mostly to the locals.
The Indian food in Malaysia is pretty spicy and quite good (well of course not all shops but on average) given the number of Indians in this country but i could be wrong on this.
There is a difference i found out between indian food from India and over here, and that is we use tamarind for our fish curry and not sambar whereas over in India tamarind is used for sambar and not fish curry.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: Is there a taste difference in Indian food in Asia (you’ve been to Singapore rite) and America?
Yes, big difference. We recollect Singapore Indian food to be close to Indian food in the homeland (India) unlike the Indian food in the U.S.
Sadly the dregs of the cooking profession seem to have ended up in the kitchens of America’s Indian restaurants.
For the most part, the incompetent Indian restaurant owners/managers here are cocky louts who would not recognize real Indian food if it whacked them in the face.
2. Plus, the Indian food in the U.S. is often mildly spiced to cater/pander to effete American palates.
3. Worse, the shameless scumbag Indian restaurants here treat Indians badly and suck up to the Whites.
For instance, if an Indian goes to a buffet lunch and if some of the bowls are empty the restaurant won’t refill the bowl with more Naan/Roti/Curry/Tandoori Chicken/Wateva until some White guys walk in (has happened to us).
4. Like in the U.K., many Indian restaurants in NYC are actually owned/run by Bangladeshis.
pongal in other places is like a paste ….in TN its the way it should be ….right amount of salt and best when served hot or cold …
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Pongal in TN is a treat.
The Pongal at Mysore Woodlands is a punishment. 🙁
Well, if you ever hop by Malaysia, I’ll take you for some pretty good Indian food – spicy and yummy and hopefully meets the ever over the top taste requirements of our dear SI bloggers 😛
SearchIndia.com Responds:
mucho gracias senorita.
But most likely our paths will never cross since SI is just Maya, an illusion that will slowly start to fade away. 😉
SI Bloggers are already PONGALS !!! Why deepa adding more??!! Let them enjoy the Burgers even though there radar always focused towards INDIA.
ALL the best watchdogs!!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Were you always like this or was it the Cooum water that led to your present state.