Wake up, all ye somonolent creatures. Time now for your Incredible India fix.

* Folks, this is a story that can come only out of Incredible India.

Gay men in India have now started observing Karva Chauth, you know that asinine fasting ritual practiced by retarded Hindu women for the longevity of their husbands.

Here’s an excerpt from the Times of India:

From applying home-made face packs to buying new clothes, they are going about it just like women. Says Dipak, a 29-year-old engineer, “I am going to fast for my boyfriend’s long life. Although I will not be applying henna on my hands, I will eat only after I see his face against the moon.”

With many of them hiding their true identities from the family, they are unable to follow the tradition completely.

Jatin, who wants to do all the rituals, rues the fact that unlike women, who get a `sargi’, a platter of eatables and a few gifts from a mother-in-law, he will not get one. “Last year, I woke up before sunrise and ate what I had prepared the previous night. Although I keep a rigid fast, I wish I had a `sargi’.”

Jatin got an expensive branded watch last year as a Karva Chauth gift and Hitesh, who is fasting for the first time, is looking forward to the promised gold bracelet.

What’s next for Indian gay men?

Morning sickness, what else.

Ha ha ha.

* If you thought the previous Incredible India story was bizarre, this one will leave you stupified.

A baby boy was born in the toilet of the Tatanagar-Chhapra Express train.

Well, you might say strange things do happen on Indian trains.

Wait, the toilet-baby story gets better.

Apparently, the new-born baby then fell down the toilet chute on to the tracks.

We swear we are not making this up.

Something this weird can’t be conjured up even by our fertile mind.

Here’s an excerpt of the toilet-baby story from the Hindu:

The incident fortunately took place when the train was not at a very high speed, as it was nearing Birajpur Station, said Soumitra Majumdar, chief public relations officer of Southeastern Railway.

Bhola Roy, his wife Rinku Roy and their son were travelling on the Tatanagar-Chhapra express. At around 11 p.m., Ms. Roy stepped into the toilet where she suddenly went into labour. The child was delivered in the toilet, but fell through the outlet onto the tracks.

* A First Information Report has been lodged against West Bengal Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee for rightly declaring that Ram is not a god, Ramayan is not a religious Hindu epic and Ramsetu is a natural structure, not a manmade bridge.

Of course, Ram or Rama or wateva name that Hindu fella goes by is not god. Everyone except the dolts know this.

You don’t believe us? Here, read for yourself about Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee’s plight.

* Maid-servant lover and Bollywood actor Shiney Ahuja is out on bail.

Given the inadequacies of the Indian judiciary, we’d be surprised if his maid’s rape charges against Shiney Ahuja go anywhere now.

Hey, what’s that noise we hear?

Ah, must be Indian crows singing Mera Bharat Mahaan.