Billu Barber – Shaved at the Box Office
Friends, Indians, desis around the world, lend us your ears:
There’s absolutely no reason to see this piece of crap a.k.a. Billu Barber unless money is burning a hole in your pocket, time hangs too heavily on your hands or you come in your pants at the mere mention of Shahrukh Khan’s name (like the people in the Budbuda village in which this movie is set).
That trash like Billu Barber continues to be made and, worse, released in theatres around the world is a testament to the incredible mediocrity and utter shamelessness pervading Bollywood today.
Silly Exercise
Directed by a clueless dodo called Priyadarshan, Billu Barber is a silly movie with a cast of buffoons (with the sole exception of Irrfan Khan) making monkeys of themselves and the audience.
The movie centers around the arrival of a superstar Sahir Khan (who else, Shahrukh Khan) on a film shoot to Budbuda village, where a poor barber Billu (Irrfan Khan) is struggling to make ends meet.
Billu, who was the object of ridicule in the village, quickly becomes the pet of everyone once the villagers know that in his younger days he was a close friend of the superstar Sahir Khan.
How the villagers’ expectations of meeting the superstar Sahir Khan causes chaos in Billu’s life forms the gist of this must-miss movie.
Having seen Kuselan, the Tamil predecessor of Billu Barber, we went in with low expectations.
Shahrukh Khan, Priyadarshan, Farah Khan, et al have done their utmost to deliver a crapshow that was far worse than we’d feared. By the way, a version of Billu Barber was first made in Malayalam as Kadha Parayumbol (2007).
Mediocre Acting
In Billu Barber, Shahrukh Khan delivers a mediocre performance unworthy of a superstar who has acted in over five dozen movies. In some movie-within-the-movie scenes, he has a tired look on his face.
Whether in the movie-within-the-movie or in the main movie itself (such as in crucial scenes like the speech at the school or the final meeting with Billu), Shahrukh Khan comes across as no more than a tyro. What a shame.
As for Lara Dutta, who plays Billu’s wife Bindiya, the young lady is completely foreign to the notion of acting. And since when does an Indian village barber’s wife go around wearing a mostly-backless choli.
Ridiculous. Well, if we were to count the ridiculous elements in this junk we’d never get this review completed.
Of the other girls (Deepika Padukone, Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra) who make brief appearances in the movie via song/dances, Deepika Padukone is easily the worst.
Performing the most graceless dance while shaking her pelvis and wearing a skimpy attire, Deepika defines ugly in the song Love Mera Hit. Kareena comes a close second in the Marjani song/dance.
Like their seniors, the two kids who play Billu’s children are horrible beyond words in the acting department.
Two Clowns
As if one clown was not bad enough, in Billu Barber we have two clowns making idiots of themselves and the audience.
Pray, what is the rationale of introducing talented actors like Om Puri and Rajpal Yadav and making them tromp around like chimps in heat.
Irrfan Khan Dazzles
The sole saving grace of Billu Barber is Irrfan Khan, one of the classiest actors in India today.
Whether in the opening scene seeking a loan from a corrupt officer, on the phone with the superstar’s secretary, when the school teachers come home, when Daamchand and his henchmen take the hairdressing paraphernalia back and many, many more scenes, Irrfan Khan repeatedly delights.
Surely, Irrfan Khan is one of the very few in Bollywood to know the meaning of acting.
Music
Absolutely mediocre.
Eminently forgetable, none of the song-dances have any merit. Nothing more than the usual crap we’ve seen in a gazillion Bollywood movies before (and for sure we’ll see it in a gazillion Bollywood movies in future).
As for the dancing, all we can say is that if chimps were let out of their cages they’d teach these Deepikas, Shahrukhs, Kareenas and the choreographer Farah Khan a lesson or two.
Defining Mediocrity
First-time directors like Géla Babluani and Mira Nair make fine movies like 13 Tzameti and Salaam Bombay while clowns like Priyadarshan who have made over 30 movies churn out mediocre films like Billu Barber.
Maybe, it’s time we sent the Priyadarshans of Bollywood to act as gofers (chaiwallahs) on Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle’s movie sets. Perhaps, then these bozos will learn a few tricks from people who know the craft of making movies.
Folks, Billu Barber is an escapable punishment and an avoidable calamity for the paying audience. Unworthy of your precious time or valuable money, hesitate not one moment to give this wretched movie a miss.
Related Stories:
Shahrukh Khan’s Shame – Billu Barber Crashes 86%
Billu Barber – Shaved at the Box Office
Billu Barber Review – Triumph of Mediocrity added by SearchIndia.com on
View all posts by SearchIndia.com →
Why did you even bother? i watched kuselan and i have no intention of putting myself through this.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: Why did you even bother?
We sacrificed ourselves for the common good. 😉
2. You write above: i have no intention of putting myself through this
You are an infinitely smart person.
If more Bollywood fans start ignoring these kinda crappy movies, that’ll serve as a wakeup call to the bozos.
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
I’m surprised bolly wanted to remake this even after the utter flop of horrible Kuselan (though it was a huge hit in UK). Is Billu releasing in UK??
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yes, Billu Barber has released widely in the UK.
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
@SI:We sacrificed ourselves for the common good.
Ha Ha Ha… You got sponsored by Flyuhome.com to review the movie…
Apart from paying for your tickets, popcorns and softdrinks (or is it some drink to Warm Up in the cold weather?).. how many $,$$$,$$$ do the sponsors pay ?
Just curious..
BTW after reading your reviews for Kuselan & BB, I wont see either of them… even if sponsored..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We’ve mostly stopped eating the crappy theatre popcorn over the last two years. We don’t drink the sodas either.
When we used to watch movies in North Bergen (in NJ, just outside Manhattan), we’d buy Lassi, Samosa, Vada Pav, Puff et al but we’ve stopped going to that lousy theatre.
Do you get Indian snacks at the concession stand in theatres where you live?
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
“If more Bollywood fans start ignoring these kinda crappy movies, that’ll serve as a wakeup call to the bozos.”
Yeah right, but still there are those UK fans right? The bozos can target them..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Funny. 😉
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
Compared to CC2C, Billu Barber was like Citizen Kane!
Seriously though, this movie more than anything was just a vehicle for SRK to spout off his personal views on those “come… at the mere mention” fans you mentioned at the start. The whole bit in the after the interval where he’s sitting with the school principal going on about how actors are ordinary people and “making a movie is work, watching a movie is fun” and we get offended by arrogant people too, when we come to shoot a movie we don’t have time to greet all the people in the town etc. etc. If anything, I thought SRK was doing his best to give the middle finger (as you so often like to say) to all those “come… at the mere mention” fans who have made him the megastar he is today. If I were said fan, I would be bothered by this much more than his lazy performance in this film. When he was making his school day speech, he looked more sad at having to stand there and read the lines (perhaps he was thinking of all the money he lost on his canceled Temptations Reloaded Tour from last year) instead of being sad at missing his friend.
Deepika… I went to a 7:45 show and the theater was 3/4 full, which is okay. In the last three years, there have only been three movies which were completely sold out on opening night that I went to (Krrish, Om Shanti Om, and KANK). When she came on and started flailing her limbs, several guys around me started making comments about how disgusting she looked. Disgusting in the sense that she looked way too thin. You could see her ribs and overall she was quite bony. I never thought I’d see a worse dancer than Katrina Kaif, who is about as graceful as a giraffe, but Deepika leapfrogged her effortlessly. Please eat some food!
The songs were not great, but the picturizations made them feel even worse. I thought Marjani was not that bad, but the dancing sequence with Kareena and SRK lacked any energy. All of the dancing sequences lacked energy, which I think is more due to SRK than the women. They are all young and fit, but he just looked old and lazy. They looked like they had to slow down to accommodate him.
There were plenty of funny bits in the movie I thought. The audience laughed enough. It wasn’t top drawer, but I didn’t walk out of the theater wanting to tear my eyes out ala Oedipus like I did after witnessing CC2C. Aside from the personal views that SRK seeped into the film, it was a little funny the way some of Bollywood was satirized, with the sequence showing how the producers made one ridiculous video (Love Mera Hit) and then intended to create a ridiculous movie script based off the video including the whole “pendant” bit to unite the characters. Also the bit where everyone and his uncle wants a role so he gives his host home owner the role of inspector. I personally didn’t find the ensuing dialogue particularly funny, with the whole rearranging the stars/pendant/mom/children/God. The whole theater was roaring though, so I put that one down to the best meaning being lost in translation. That scene could easily have been edited out though and no one would have missed anything.
The only thing that seriously irked me was when Sahir is talking with his producers about where they should film and he just casually says, “Budbuda, I hear it’s nice.” or whatever. A gaping lack of creativity and writing skills is the only way to answer how that unfolded.
It wasn’t stellar, but I’m not going to beg for my $8.50 back. It could have been better, but it wasn’t CC2C. Thank God for small favors.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. Not even a pipsqueak about Irrfan Khan in your comment. Odd.
If this were India, the BJP would have offered you a prominent position in the party for ignoring at least one Muslim.
Seriously, how did you find Irrfan Khan. We’ve seen this guy in Namesake, Killer (Bollywood lift of the Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx movie Collateral), Yun Hota To Kya Hota et al.
We thought Irrfan Khan was the only worthwhile feature of the crap-show (we paid $8.00 for this crap and we’d like at least 50% back).
2. Yes, compared to CC2C, Billu Barber was Citizen Kane.
Hard to believe, ‘smart people’ invest time, effort and money into making something as ugly as CC2C.
3. Deepika Padukone is the kiss of death for a movie. She is a Jonah, if you ask us.
After Om Shanti Om, downhill all the way. Bachna Ae Haseeno was bad at box office. CC2C was a disaster at the box office. Let’s see how Billu Barber turns out.
4. Yes, picturization of all songs were so pathetic. No passion. No energy.
5. BTW, did you know that Billu Barber has been released in the U.S., Canada, Denmark, Germany, Austria, UK, Switzerland and presumably in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Singapore, Gulf countries and Malaysia too.
Makes all desis seem like Neanderthals on the movie evolution scale.
6. Oh, where are the clowns who were squealing that Danny “Slumdog Millionaire’ Boyle doesn’t know how to make a movie. Cat got their tongue now? Compared to Danny, Priyadarshan et al come across like rank amateurs.
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
I beg to differ. I do agree on Billu Barber not being a classic but certainly it is a good movie.
A link took me here and I was surprised to see the various comments from readers. Not bad at all for a blog.
With all due respect to the owners of this blog I felt: firstly, you are engaging in a very pompous language to masquerade your inability in reviewing a film (that makes you much similar to Indian directors who would spend millions to shoot six songs for the movie and never bother on the integrity of the script) secondly, your comments or rather review (as you call it) are nothing but few offensive statements against director and actors (and that reminds me of “know-no-acting” actors of tamil and hindi movies who concentrate on their “punch lines”).
If you could consider this as suggestion and not assertion then I would say, please try to include your thoughts on technical aspects of the film in your writings and approach a movie with no prejudice (it is not mandatory that Om Puri should always be given national award worth characters). If I would have used your philosophy [that you expected nothing from Billu Barber since Kuselan was HMT (Horrible, Miserable and Terrible)] then I would have never seem slumdog millionaire as “Q&A” was such a lousy book.
And sorry to say, it is funny. I mean, having spent some time going through your archive I felt it extremely funny to note that you write reviews on food too! Wow! That is what we call “multi faceted talent” !!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: I do agree on Billu Barber not being a classic but certainly it is a good movie.
This a4apple, i4idiot clown charges us with offering nothing but few offensive statements against director and actors .
Folks, let’s pause for a minute. Let’s now ask this a4apple, i4idiot clown why despite asserting in the very first paragraph that Billu Barber is a good movie we don’t find any justification.
Not ONE word in the Sermon on the Mount explaining why a4apple, i4idiot considers Billu Barber certainly a good movie.
And this dodo has the audacious temerity to bloviate. Have keyboard, ergo will type nonsense seems to be this commenter’s motto.
2. You write: A link took me here and I was surprised to see the various comments from readers. Not bad at all for a blog.
Hello, did anyone say Rip Van Winkle?
Only a troglodyte doing a Rip Van Winkle in a Neanderthal’s abandoned cave would be surprised that a blog post has comments or that a link can take you to an unexplored web site or blog.
Wake up, kiddo.
3. You write: you are engaging in a very pompous language to masquerade your inability in reviewing a film
Let’s look at all of the various elements we’ve covered in the above review of Billu Barber.
We’ve addressed the big picture (triumph of mediocrity), story (silly exercise), acting (pathetic effort by Shahrukh Khan, Lara Dutta and the kids; fine performance by Irrfan Khan), comedy (talked about the agony of beholding two clowns and the folly of making Om Puri and Rajpal Yadav jump around like monkeys), Music (mediocre), dance (graceless), linked it to Slumdog Millionaire (relevant because of Priyadarshan’s controversial attack on Slumdog Millionaire and its director Danny Boyle) and concluded with the suggestion that Bollywood fans would be prudent in not wasting their time or money on this junk.
These are the main elements most fans look for when they decide to spend $10 or Rs 200 on a movie, whether in the U.S. or in India. We’d like to think we covered most bases.
And how many reasons did our a4apple, i4idiot provide when right at the outset he/she/it delivered its Sermon on the Mount that Billu Barber is a good movie? – ZERO.
4. You write: approach a movie with no prejudice (it is not mandatory that Om Puri should always be given national award worth characters
To write as we did that Om Puri deserves better is not prejudice but an expression of infinite sadness to see such a talented actor reduced to such depths (like when Om Puri angrily points to his d**k in the movie and boasts about it being the Ninth Wonder of the World).
5. You write: If I would have used your philosophy [that you expected nothing from Billu Barber since Kuselan was HMT (Horrible, Miserable and Terrible)]…
Any right thinking person (no kiddo, we are not talking of you here) would have expected little from Billu Barber after the Kuselan mega-disaster.
Look, we’re not talking about Orson Welles, Akira Kurosawa or Billy Wilder. We’re talking about that podi paya Priyadarshan. Let’s not rub it in any further by telling you that Billu Barber did not diverge much from the Kuselan story.
6. You write: I mean, having spent some time going through your archive I felt it extremely funny to note that you write reviews on food too! Wow! That is what we call “multi faceted talent” !!!
A person reviewing Bollywood movies and also reviewing Indian restaurants – you find that extremely funny?
You might want to consider that many parts of the human body – to wit, the brain, d**k, c**t, tongue et al can accomplish multiple tasks.
Bet you a trillion dollars that you thought the d**k was only for peeing and the tongue only for eating. 😉
You are what we call a multi-faceted idiot – You started off blabbering about our Billu Barber review and ended up blathering about our restaurant reviews.
7. By all means, feel free to change your user name from a4apple to i4idiot. That would be a more apt description, given the overwhelming drivel in your comment.
Bottomline: Folks, Billu Barber is a piece of junk unworthy of your time or money.
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
Wow! what a response to a newcomer a4apple!
The line I most enjoyed was
Bet you a trillion dollars that you thought the d**k was only for peeing and the tongue only for eating.
(Appadi podu Aruvaley – they say in Tamil)
SI,This entertaining “Tom&Jerry” style volley of comment vs response is what makes me visit your site often, since your Dasavatharam Review.
Keep up your most hilarious responses!
We don’t know whether a4apple will change the user name to i4idiot, but my guess is – he/she/it will soon d4disappear -from visiting this site.
****************
Love Indian Food?
Read our NY / NJ Indian Restaurant Reviews
Why I said it is a good movie:
1. The story line is simple and clear. (Yes it is very much similar to Kuselan. Kuselan and Billu were remade from Malayalm movie, ‘Katha Parayumbol’ scripted by Srinivasan and directed by Mohan).
2. Acting – It is not as bad as SI claims. Irfan did a decent job, nothing extra ordinary though. SRK did a good job as well. To carry out a 12minute solo performance in climax is not that easy, especially within the constraints of commercial cinema. Lara Dutta, other characters and the kids fitted into the story and acted well enough.
3. As a director it is easy to say a story if the plot is linear. Here, Priyadarshan is successful in transiting between SRK’s glam world and Billu’s Budbudha. Just look at the way he had picturized the less than 2 minutes song on SRK when he comes into Lara Dutta’s dream. It is entirely different from the other songs in the movie. Such craftsmanship was what lacking in Kuselan.
4. Manikandan (cinematographer and once assistant to Ravi Chandran sir) does a good job, keeping in mind the un-explored beauty of Pollachi and the theme of the story. No camera gimmicks but ample close ups especially on Irfan Khan. Good work and a pleasure to know that he himself liberated from the style that he repeated in Meim Hoo Naa and Om Shanti Om.
5. Item songs – contrary to what SI said, ‘we’ don’t expect ‘Urvasi’ award winning performances from la belles who are in an item song. DP,KK and PC looked good and danced well.
6. Most importantly, the movie is a clean entertainer. I am not sure how much is this of importance to SI. But to ‘us’ it is very important to have such –what we call in India- clean movie where there are no double meaning dialogues; a moral at the end of the story and no violence. Because, we went to the ordinary village school where our teachers taught us that there are 26 alphabets in English and missed on the 27th letter, the *.
It is true that male genital organ has the dual role of excretion and ejaculation but there is one another organ in human body which plays a pivotal role. ‘We’ call it the brain. Wish you had it, at least a broken one like the chair Billu had!!!!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: Most importantly, the movie is a clean entertainer. I am not sure how much is this of importance to SI. But to ‘us’ it is very important to have such –what we call in India- clean movie where there are no double meaning dialogues
Clean entertainer? Really?
Not in our dictionary, perhaps in your dickionary because you have Om Puri literally pointing to his dick in Billu Barber and asking one of the yokels if he wants to see the ninth wonder of the world.
Lara Dutta’s back has almost a backless choli throughout the movie. Clean? Again, only in your dickionary.
Deepika Padukone wearing a skimpy dress (surrounded by other skimpily clad women), shaking her pelvis in the Love Mera Hit dance, her right hand slipping between her legs twice toward the Bermuda Triangle. Clean? Again, only in your dickionary.
2. You write above: Acting – It is not as bad as SI claims
Let’s see in your last comment you described Billu Barber as certainly it is a good movie. Now, you say the acting is not as bad as SI claims.
Why don’t you take a leak and return. When you are back, you’ll be saying it’s worse than SI claims.
3. You write: The story line is simple and clear
Right, simple as in the simpleton’s simple.
4. Manikandan’s photography was banal, extraordinarily ordinary.
5. Thanks for outlining the ‘positives’ of Billu Barber.
Even though it is a futile exercise, considering the Intelligence Quotient of the listener certain points have to be repeated. I never said that Billu Barber is a classic. Neither is Slumdog Millionaire nor is City of God. But certainly Babettes gæstebud is.
I said Billu Barber is a good movie for the reasons I already stated. Respecting the pain that you had taken to point three aspects which makes Billu Barber a ‘dirty’ movie I would retaliate (sorry for laughing at you while doing this):
Om Puri – the said dialogue is not original, in the sense you find similar responses in a village. However, the director by choosing a subtle camera position and choreographing the scene made it not vulgar.
Lara Dutta’s choli and DP – sorry, I don’t answer Shiv Sena apostles. Get the next ticket and return to India please. With your mind set, all the abusive words and pervert thought you have, you are not an asset to India but would be easy for you to find company.
And to the astrologer who predicted my destiny, you can keep licking what you have been licking. You are doing a good job as well. Good to know that SI trained few people to be their successors.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. More baloney.
Read our previous responses. Again. and Again. and Again.
2. You write: the director by choosing a subtle camera position and choreographing the scene made it not vulgar
Subtlety is not a word found in the dictionary of our Bollywood movie-makers.
In those rare instances, when you find an Indian movie is not so awfully crude, you can rest assured that it’s stolen shit. Very, very few exceptions to this rule.
SI:’Well, if we were to count the ridiculous elements in this junk we’d never get this review completed.’
what else exactly did you find ridiculous? I found it fairly logical (except of course that sahir khan didn’t have to come to a village to do item songs and matrix/star wars inspired action scenes!!)….in any case there were fewer instances of illogical scenes compared to slumdog …..BTW I never knew priyadarshan reacted that way toward slumdog. Of course he got one thing right….the film does resemble the typical ‘Happy Ending’ movies of the 70’s…..his comments about mani ratnam making it was ridculous….
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. Although the movie’s title is Billu Barber, the movie seems more about the superstar Sahir than about the barber Billu; why is the movie set in a village since there’s hardly any focus on the village milieu or its characters; three comedians; for a family that’s struggling to survive, Lara Dutta’s dress looked too fancy; how do the villagers know about the friendship between Billu and Sahir; amateurish screenplay, like for instance, out of the blue you get the first song Love Mera Hit; that industry veterans like Priyadarshan and Shahrukh Khan make such mediocre movies (like Sachin Tendulkar not being able to handle the bowling from the Holland or Uzbekistan cricket team)….ad nauseum ad infinitum.
2. Happy ending or not, it’ll take Priyadarshan nine lives to make a slick, entertaining movie like Slumdog Millionaire. Only in India can these dilettantes thrive as professionals.
3. With the exception of Irrfan Khan, Naseeruddin Shah, Tabu and a few others, virtually everyone from Bollywood, Kollywood et al would be laughed off the global movie stage. Rank Amateurs all.
SI ‘Happy ending or not, it’ll take Priyadarshan nine lives to make a slick, entertaining movie like Slumdog Millionaire.’
The point is,YOU found it entertaining, so did everyone in the west, with the slums and all…..for us in india, it was a normal film…..I think priyadarshan is good at comedies – hera pheri was excellent, and more recently, chup chupke was very good (do try to see it)……billu barber did have a promising script….could have been handled better….I find lara dutta a better actor than priyanka chopra, of course priyanka is the bigger star today…..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: The point is,YOU found it entertaining, so did everyone in the west, with the slums and all…..for us in india, it was a normal film…..
Not just us or those in the West. Many in India too found it entertaining.
Unfortunately, the massive piracy of Slumdog Millionaire in India deprived it of its legitimate box office collection. Well, that’s India where theft is a matter of no great consequence.
2. You write: chup chupke was very good (do try to see it)……
Chup Chupke was an entertaining movie. One of the early Bollywood movies we watched in a theatre here.
3. You write: I find lara dutta a better actor than priyanka chopra
Even by Bollywood’s lowly standards, Priyanka Chopra is a disgrace. This clown has made little effort at improvement over the years.
BTW, it doesn’t take any effort to be a better actor than Priyanka Chopra. Anyone – even a cockroach – is a better actor than this nightmare a.k.a. Priyanka Chopra.
SI, quote – “In those rare instances, when you find an Indian movie is not so awfully crude, you can rest assured that it’s stolen shit. Very, very few exceptions to this rule†– unquote.
Dear, this is what I hate about you. It is neither your bad words nor your stupidity. I can live with that, but your megalomaniac prejudice towards Indian cinema or rather cinema in general.
You are trying to make a collage. Picking up few ‘silly’ Tamil and Hindi movies (like Kuruvi and Azhagia Tamil Magan; Fashion and Drona) and referring them again and again in your (so called) reviews, I can’t see the point. They are awfully made movies and it doesn’t require your ‘thought provoking’ reviews not to watch them. Then you review few Hollywood movies especially the ones on which treatises have been written. Oh My God! The other day I saw Speilberg weeping and on asked why, it seems he read one of your reviews. He couldn’t just believe that there are ‘Indians’ of this ‘caliber’ from the land of Sathyajith Ray sir (Pather Panchali was cult and Devi is arguably the best Indian film ever made), Adoor Gopalakrishnan sir (Rat Trap (Ellipathayam) is course material at NYFS), Ritwick Ghatak (Subarnarekha – no Indian film have ever used music so good). To you, it seems Mira Nair is the last word of Indian cinema. Jesus Holy Christ! You are making ME laugh and SPIELBERG cry!
With your weird lifestyle of spending all the money on shitty restaurants (when was the last time you bought a book? Heard about Aravind Adiga?) and apparently jobless at the moment have you managed to watch all the Hollywood movies released last year? At least the ones which made some headlines? I did. From all the foreign language films that I have seen (I can bet you on that. You haven’t seen even 0.001% of what I have seen baby!) I can say for sure that Hollywood is making more crap than Indian movies. What Hollywood churn out is either biopic or remakes. Curious why you said nothing about ‘The Curious Case of Benjjamin Button’. Did I miss your ‘heavenly discourse’ on Frost/Nixon? The Reader? Milk?
Well, the answer/reason is so obvious. It needs talent sweet heart, talent. Heard that Andrew L Urban needs a gardener. Why don’t you try that for some time? That will save us and you ‘MAY’ learn something!!!!!!!!!!!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: when was the last time you bought a book? Heard about Aravind Adiga?)
no readding buchs heare. no undarsand, saar. readding and all, timme wastte, saar.
Aravind Adiga, who? New hiro, Tulugu movi suparastar?
You arre viry intlligent, saar. you drink cow-a-cola, saar, theree time everiday?
BTW, what did Voltaire say – He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool.
2. You write: Dear, this is what I hate about you
Our life is in vain now that a4apple has declared its hatred of us. Folks, get us a long rope.
3. You write: From all the foreign language films that I have seen (I can bet you on that. You haven’t seen even 0.001% of what I have seen baby!)
Your boast reminds us of Om Puri’s character Damchand boastfully pointing to his dick to the yokel in Billu Barber and asking him whether he wants to see the ninth wonder of the world.
Please clarify – are you Damchand, the yokel or the dick. Most likely, you are the manifestation of all three, which makes you a dickhead.
Focus on the review in future.
4. You write: Oh My God! The other day I saw Speilberg weeping and on asked why, it seems he read one of your reviews
Sure, we saw Shani laughing himself silly the other day and when asked why, he responded that he’d entered your body and was forcing you to desecrate some nice blogs with asinine comments.
Before you get into your contrived humor bit, it’d be nice if you could learn to spell Steven Spielberg the correct way.
5. You write: I can’t see the point. They are awfully made movies and it doesn’t require your ‘thought provoking’ reviews not to watch them
Since when did you become the arbiter of what we review.
6. We’ll try & watch some of Ray’s movies in the not too distant future.
SI quote – “We’ll try & watch some of Ray’s movies in the not too distant future†– unquote.
You mean to say that you haven’t watched any of Satyajith Ray’s movies and you are in this business! Jesus Christ!!!!!!!! I am an atheist but still I would say, please forgive them!
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: I am an atheist but still I would say, please forgive them!
Nobody here gives a flying f*** what you are.
2. We’ll start with Charulata and review a whole bunch of Satyajit Ray’s movies in the coming weeks.
Nice to see Voltaire above there…
I like “Si Dieu n’existait pas, il faudrait l’inventer”
(“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him”) … in this context I think we have to say…
if good indian movie did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it….
Interesting to see so much defence for Billu Barber! Look forward to reading your reviews on Satyajit Ray classics, though… I havent watched any of em yet, I hope I do after I read about em.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We’ll start with Charulata this week.
Charulata review?
Did you watch Dor and Iqbal? see if netflix has it.
What about Welcome to Sajjanpur?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Charulata review on Monday.
Have not seen the other movies you mention. Will check Netflix and add them to queue if they have it.
Have you watched “Yaavarum Nalam”?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
No.
Why does Irrfan’s name have 2 Rs in it?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
We think that’s the way he spells it.
Numerology, Astrology, Allahlogy?