Well, it was inevitable.

The clown princes on Wall Street got it.

Then the auto bozos in Detroit got it.

Now the porn stars are demanding it.

Yes, the porn industry is crying out for a piece of the bailout pie that we’ve been so lavishly spreading around lately. They want all of $5 billion.

God Bless America.

On Wednesday, Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt jointly petitioned the newly convened 111th Congress to provide a $5 billion financial bailout for the adult entertainment industry.

Explaining the reasonable request, Francis said:

Just to see us through hard times.

Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses, we feel we deserve the same consideration. In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.

The folks in the hugely entertaining porn industry argue that like everyone else, they too have been hit by the economic downturn. How sad.

Apparently, porn DVD sales and rentals have fallen by 22% in the past year as viewers turn to the Internet for adult entertainment.

America’s pornmeisters estimate that about half of all Internet users visit adult sites, with the number of unique visitors to adult websites (including GirlsGoneWild.com and Hustler.com) growing to over 75 million per month. 

We wonder what percent of Indian Internet users visit porn sites. Must be over 90%, if we know the pripaic intensity of our countrymen.

According to Hustler’s Flynt:

With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind.

It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.

We think Congress ought to act in utmost urgency and give the hardworking and sweating pornstars of America the $5 billion relief they are seeking.

After all, the porn industry in America has provided so much release oops we meant relief to so many pumping men and women around the world.

Can you imagine life in America without the electrifying presence of Jena Jameson or Felicity Fey?

No sir, America just wouldn’t be the same.