Americans Empty Bedpans Over Shriya Saran
In the long journey of our life, we’ve wasted countless hours in so many frivolous pursuits.
But none more frivolous than reading those trashy Mills & Boon romances – You know those ridiculous, pulp novels where girl meets domineering boy…sparks fly…boy and girl fight and part…girl pines for boy…time passes slowly for girl…boy returns to girl…and the two are united in blissful matrimony until death do them part.
Yes, the Mills & Boon novels are total garbage as is their movie offspring The Other End of the Line – Bollywood and Kollywood actress Shriya Saran’s first Hollywood flick.
Like most Indian film stars, Shriya Saran is a mediocre actress. And with her swollen cheeks suggesting a face struggling to cope with a hard object lodged inside, Shriya Saran is not even a very pretty lass at that.
Aishwarya Rai and Priyanka Chopra may be lousy actresses but their faces are no substitutes for emetics unlike Shriya Saran.
Directed by James Dodson, The Other End of the Line is a simplistic trashy Bollywood (in style not language) tale about a Mumbai young call center employee Priya Sethi falling for one of her credit card customers Granger Woodruff (Jesse Metcalfe) and heading off to San Francisco to meet him.
You see the problem is Priya like most Indian call center employees has an American identity – Jennifer David in this instance – to dupe U.S. callers into believing they are dealing with one of their own not one of those Indian coolies and cow-worshippers in a dirty slum 10,000 miles away.
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Americans Empty Bedpans Over Shriya Saran
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Priya goes to San Francisco but once she sees Granger checking with the white girls at the bar whether they are Jennifer David…she doesn’t disclose her identity and walks away…but guess what…they stumble into each other literally, then roam around town together, eat ribs at an American restaurant and curry at an Indian restaurant….
That’s all there is to this piece of garbage.
Sure, there are a few humorous moments. Like when Priya’s father Rajeev Sethi (Anupam Kher), mother and aunt land up in Palo Alto in search of the young girl or when Anupam Kher punches Jesse Metcalfe.
Or when Jesse’s friend Charlie Hendricks (Austin Basis) dryly intones after Granger returns after being punched – I always imagined Indian parties to be peaceful affairs. Gandhiesque, Kamasutra….
Oh, wait there’s also a scene of Shriya in a fairly alluring black dress that titillates us with some cleavage. Indian audiences may also like the mouth-to-mouth kiss between Shriya and Jesse toward the end of the movie.
Neither Shriya Saran nor Jesse Metcalfe set the screen on fire. Anupam Kher is, as always, good.
Ashok Amritraj was a F-grade Tennis Player in his days. True to form, in The Other End of the Line Amritraj has produced a F-grade movie.
For the 5:15 PM show on Friday at Regal Burlington (New Jersey), there were all of four people in a hall that could accommodate 82 people.
Don’t even think twice.
Life is too short to be wasted on trash like The Other End of the Line.
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You guys are having a big time with garbages looks like. I’m just wondering how you people manage with your day to day affairs/activities with such a busy schedules as hunting for movies and munching the gourmets of Indian culinary stuff….amazing.
A personal question: How do you find the finance to run this mill? I mean the grinding mill (not the rumour one).
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: How do you find the finance to run this mill?
Now you know why America is near financial collapse.
From what I inferred.. SI spent the whole 1990s away from the movies.. because they seem to have missed watching many movies released in the 90s.. amassing wealth.. Now they are spending all their hard-earned money on watching Shriya’s cleavage. I’d rank Shriya’s face higher than Priyanka’s. I wouldn’t mind her face going lower on me, though.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
So many people…so many opinions.
Kannah, appudy choodu!!!
Hey, Trey!
You have missed to see something. Below neck level everything else is the same, same thing. It’s a big illusion that we get entrapped in. Haa…haaaa.
you guys and i have had our share of arguements on the ‘indian coolie’ stuff(on the ‘big american job killers..blog)…..but cow worshippers?? guess i didn’t expect NRI’s to look at indians that way…..i wouldn’t have bothered if this website was run by the native americans….they have always looked upon us with that attitude….ET TU SI???
SearchIndia.com Responds:
When read in context, you can see that sentence refers to the perspective of the Americans and how they’d view India.
Here’s the sentence from the review.
You see the problem is Priya like most Indian call center employees has an American identity – Jennifer David in this instance – to dupe U.S. callers into believing they are dealing with one of their own not one of those Indian coolies and cow-worshippers in a dirty slum 10,000 miles away.
Americans (not the NRIs or the ABCDs) do find it funny/odd that we worship cows…milk comes out of Ganesh’s idol (this one got a lot of play in the U.S. media)….
Aditya – don’t get the wrong impression about NRIs because of SI. There are still many religious NRI nuts who still worship cows.. I dunno where they get the cow’s urine. Does http://www.sarnam.com/goumutra.asp ship it to the US? Are US cows are Godly as the Indian cows?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: don’t get the wrong impression about NRIs because of SI
Don’t know what that means…
For NRIs, nothing about India is surprising or funny.
As anyone who hails from the sub-continent knows, anything & everything is possible in India (like the old Niky Tasha kitchenette ad).
‘Americans (not the NRIs or the ABCDs) do find it funny/odd that we worship cows’
– glad that you said ‘we’ rather than ‘you’…..the thing is, before coming across this website, i used to dream of having a great job in the U.S. (typical of an IITian)…..but now,after interacting with you, i feel as if you are starting to hate indians after going there……that really freaks me out…..
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: glad that you said ‘we’ rather than ‘you’…..
As we’ve said ad infinitum, you can take the Indians out of India but not India out of Indians. And we certainly don’t hate Indians or anyone else for that matter.
(Holy Cow, is it any surprise that in the nation of the Big Mac & Whopper the Americans find it funny that cows are worshipped.)
2. That said, we are not happy that our country (U.S.) is going down the toilet. Just as Indians feel good that things are at long last looking up in the country, most Americans are rightly depressed over the state of affairs in their country.
You trashed our good old MNBs? Cmon, I know we grow out of them after a certain age, but think of all the fun and excitement we had while reading them! Aww, that was not fair! Poor sweet old MNBs!!! 🙁
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Has that awful Shriya Saran movie released in India?
M&B, Barbara Cartland, Denise Robins, Harlequin Romances, Silhoutte Romances…ah, the countless hours we’ve frittered away on such juvenilia.
Watching Pappu Can’t Dance.
Nah, it hasnt released yet; I wudve known if it did, atleast in Hyderabad. FYI, am still frittering away time on MNBs, harlequin, and silhoutte. I occasionally throw in a Wodehouse, Austen, an Ayn Rand, or Bronte, but these days I dont have the patience or strength to complete classics. No idea why.
Hey, in fact, till the time I read your review I dint even know that Shriya actually starred in a Hollywood movie. Am gonna tell this to my friends at the office tomorrow, there are some major droolers present for Shriya.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write: Nah, it hasnt released yet;
You are so blessed…Must be your Poorva Janma Punya
Um, I’ve never found it funny or odd that Indians/Hindus worship cows. However, I find it very funny and odd when my desi friends invite me to Outback Steakhouse and dig into t-bone and filet mignon with reckless abandon. I asked one of them once to explain it. When him and his family came to America, they gladly indulged in McDonald’s and steakhouses because the cows in America are fed healthy green grass and grains. He said he would refuse to eat meat from cows in India, not because he was Hindu, but because the cows there just eat garbage off the streets and not proper feed and as a result if you eat the meat from an Indian cow it tastes disgusting. Three other people at the table from Bangalore, Chennai, and Hyderabad fully agreed with him. Care to comment on this?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Too hilarious for words. 🙂
Indians are a strange breed…even before Americans had heard of the term genetically-modified, God had already done the same to Indians.
And not all the cows in America are fed healthy green grass and grains.
agree with SI on that…..even i have found that we react to situations way too differently than rest of the world….
SI : you can take the Indians out of India but not India out of Indians
True words. This is exactly what I felt when I was in the US. I was in the so called bay area. People like to go to temple on sundays, have their favourite puliogare and channa as prasadham, go to Indian groceries (I use to feel like I have entered in to india whe I am inside that stinky indian shops), Go to only Indian restaurants eat sambar rice (south), roti with channa masala (north), watch (only) indian movies…. arre yaar why the hell you have to be in US for this…
I couldnt stay there for more than 9 months and returned back…
Worshiping cows, ah, tell me a thing we dont worship?
Sun, moon, stars, water, fire, earth, cow, dog, pig, sea, river, fish.. the list goes.. But, its not really funny, there is meaning , there is true understanding of the omnipresent of superior power – God… Every religion beleives god is omnipresent and multifaceted. Hindu religion has tried to realize it in the form of seeing everything as God and worshipping it.. if the practices of hindu religion are funny it woudnt have lost for these thousands of years.
though I am not a hindu, I have read lotsa books about it and I beleived a religion that has evolved and changed and keep changing everyday… where you can create your own god and worship (we have a temple here in chennai called – “Body Gaurd Muneesswarar” temple)
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. Yes, most Indians in America have a ghetto mentality. You see them only in temples, Indian grocery stores, Bollywood movies and occasionally in Sam’s Club/Costco buying cheap stuff for their convenience stores…But when we visit a Mexican restaurant or an American Diner, we very rarely see Indians there.
2. We believe religion has caused more damage than any weapon or natural force like hurricane, flood or earthquake.
Anbe Sivam.
“When he and his family came to America, they gladly indulged in McDonald’s and steakhouses because the cows in America are fed healthy green grass and grains.”
@gora
SI already clarified the above statement, but FYI, USDA stipulations require that for high quality meat, the cow must be slaughtered at 20-24 months of age and must have at least 1 inch of sub-cutaneous fat. Green grass and grains don’t aid in achieving that level of sub-cutaneous fat and marbling in meat, that gives the meat its value. Cows are also fed high-protein and fat content slurries made out of animal parts, including sheep brains. Where did you think Mad-cow disease comes from? It’s from malformed proteins called prions, that are exclusive to the nervous system.
In India, cows get more of a natural diet than a cow in a factory farm in USA. There are a lot of religious restrictions against cow-slaughter, and most cows are slaughtered only when they are old, i.e. the meat is tough and lacks flavor and the “beef supply” is dominated by buffalo (no restrictions) meat. When it comes to meat in general, there are no specific guidelines, postulated by an organization like USDA, for slaughtering methods, age of harvesting, feed quality, disease control, etc., all of which affect the quality of meat.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
The below excerpt is from Fast Food Nation (P.202 of HarperCollins Paperback Edition) by Eric Schlosser:
Enjoy your Big Mac!
Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m no expert on cattle raising etc. I just relayed how my wonderful desi friends were rationalizing their methods to me.
Also I have read that the so called ‘factory grown cows’ are kept in a cage which is having the dimension to fit the animal exactly, so that the animal doesnt move much so that the muscules wont get tougher… A mere torture to the animal.
A cow in india not only worshiped but also treated like a family member. Remember the lines from Sivaji song which says the people in the villages love the animals so much so that they would like them to get added in their family cards… A birth of a calf is celebrated as a great occation, and that will be a news broadcasted to the distant relatives…if it is a Dog-lovable animal for Americans it would be a cow for Indians… it might sound funny there in US for sure but for the agricultural nature of the Indian living it does sound meaningful.
@gora
I’m not shooting the messenger. I’m merely informing him so he can go “shoot” his friends 😀 . Plus you asked, “Care to comment on this?” I took that as an open invitation for anyone and not SI in particular 🙂 .
Correction: It’s 2 inches of sub-cutaneous fat(minimum) that is required for slaughter, not 1 inch.
@joeantony
The caging thing is usually done for veal, where calves are not allowed to grow beyond a particular size. I find that cruel and I abhor the consumption of veal. Just my opinion. Cows are usually allowed to graze and move around more freely, but they are not allowed the extent of activity they would have naturally because more activity means more connective tissue, which leads to tougher meat.