Bollywood director David Dhawan has lifted an entertaining Hollywood romantic comedy Hitch (2005) and turned it into a pathetic, unwatchable nightmare called Partner.

Outstandingly executed, Hitch was an amazingly funny movie featuring strong performances by Will Smith (as the Date Doctor Alex Hitch), Eva Mendes (in the role of gossip columnist Sara Melas) and Kevin James (as Albert Brennaman in love with a heiress).

Gosh, there were so many memorable scenes in Hitch – Will Smith teaching Kevin James the 90-10 Kiss Rule, Kevin James teaching Amber Valletta to whistle at the basket ball match, Kevin James’ weird dancing and so many more.

Partner does not have a single memorable scene in 153 minutes. Just excruciating agony. Zero entertainment value.

Partner provides as much entertainment as an overflowing municipal garbage truck rolling down smaller Indian cities. In short, Partner stinks.

Partner fails at every imaginable level – acting, screenplay, editing, music and above all directing.

Salman Khan and Govinda are no patches on Will Smith and Kevin James respectively. Doing similar roles, Salman Khan and Govinda come across as rank amateurs with their unpolished performances cheating Bollywood fans of any hope of entertainment.

Playing a bumbling, accident-prone finance executive in love with the very rich owner of his company, Kevin James’ electrifying performance was a treat to watch. Cast in a similar role in Partner, Govinda is an unbearable agony to behold.

Most of our Bollywood stars have grown fat on the money and pay little attention to their craft. Except in Bollywood, acting is serious business everywhere else.

Our Bollywood bozos think acting is a picnic and the results show on the screen!

The less said about Katrina Kaif’s non-acting the better. This London lass is an affront to all notions of acting.

While Lara Dutta’s acting does not in any way rise to the level of Eva Mendes, we felt she was the best of the worst. Unfortunately, Lara Dutta does not have as elaborate a role as Eva Mendes in Hitch.

Hitch succeeded primarily because of the fine performances by the lead actors and careful attention given to the screenplay. In contrast, Partner comes across as a rushed affair although this dreary movie is 2 hours and 23 minutes long.

The comedy scenes involving Rajpal Yadav as the Chota Don are completely bizarre and just don’t fit into the rest of the movie at all. What was the director thinking, that is if he was thinking at all?

Chota Don’s sudden appearances and disappearing acts led us to harbor serious doubts as to whether Partner went through any editing process.

Even by the lowly standards of David Dhawan’s movies, there are too many logic gaps in Partner. For instance, the missile following Salman Khan on his water scooter, some 15-20 minutes into the movie, was utter baloney.

Partner’s story closely follows that of Hitch, except in the attention to execution.

A young Date Doctor or Love Guru (in Partner) is in the business of helping young men to win over the woman of their dreams. Then you have the gossip columnist of a local daily, the rich heiress and her bumbling admirer.

Where careful attention was lavished in developing the character of the Date Doctor in Hitch, very little thought has gone into fleshing out the role of the Love Guru in Partner.

Partner’s music is clearly not for the ages and just a few notches above cacophony. Do you wana Partner and Maria, Maria were two of the better songs.

If you thought David Dhawan’s previous movies Shaadi No. 1, Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya and Mujhse Shaadi Karogi were horrible, you ain’t seen nothing till you watch this awful horror-show called Partner.

It’s a shame that Bollywood directors are unable to deliver decent entertainment even after lifting story lines from successful Hollywood movies.

Well, we guess even copying requires a modicum of talent. No one ever accused Bollywood directors like David Dhawan of possessing oodles of that precious thing called talent.

Hitch oozes class all over while Partner is crass from the first frame to the last.

Partner is the usual Bollywood saga of confusion and incompetence. Watch this clumsily inept movie at your peril.